Jiale

2012-01-29T09:41:00.003+08:00

I miss blogging. I'll blog soon.
Starting from this year June, if it's my holidays, I'll start to chase my dreams.
One step at a time. I know it'll be really tough, but I'll give it a try.
Since Grandma is not around anymore.
What I can do is to do what I want and love and let Grandma see me being successful!
And I also hope if Grandma is at somewhere she's happy.

2011-07-15T14:34:00.003+08:00

I don't know how to be happy.

I've been having huge amount of phlegm in my throat recently, from last time I had phlegm, every day I woke up.
I don't know why I had it. Is it because of the food and drink I always eat last time or some other reasons?
I even think it might be because of Grandma. Although before she died then she had really huge amount of phlegm in her mouth and supposedly throat.
I think throat will have too. Sorry, I'm stupid so I can't confirm. But I think throat will have because it links to the mouth?
Mine is in my throat. Sometimes I can spilled it out, sometimes I can't.
I've to keep swallowing it every minute, I'm exhausted to swallow it every second -_-
I don't blame Grandma if she passed it to me.
I don't even know why I've it. So torturing!!

Back to school, I'm more unhappier. Because I remember Grandma once again.
After Grandma's funeral, back to school, I cried every day.
And then it was holidays, I still cried but I didn't cry every day. Holidays were better.
School reopen, I cried every day. I thought I wouldn't but I can't control.
I don't know what has become of me. I'm so tired.
I think I want to do well in my studies but I find it so hard.
My gpa for first semester wasn't good. I only want to do well for next semester.
I don't want to waste anymore time, money e.g
I don't know how to overcome the fact that Grandma is gone. I miss her just too much.
AND when will exactly my armpit stop feeling pain?
I don't even know if my armpit feels pain does it mean I need to do surgery?
I don't want surgery cause there might be a possible need to draft skin.
The doctors can't confirm, they've to see after I do the surgery to see if there's a need to draft skin.
I DON'T WANT DRAFT SKIN. I RATHER DIE.

I didn't want to absent from school for so many days in a week.
I didn't want to answer any calls. I didn't know it was from school. I think it was.
I didn't want people to disturb my Mum. But no choice, attendance is important.
I know it is but I hate it that I only know how to cry in school every day.
I really hate to be in school but I need to proceed to higher level next year.
Can't even concentrate on my work, can't even do well.
I really want to do everything well but I don't know how to do it.
Only when friends was around me or talk to me then I'll feel better.
I think I need counsellor but at the same time I don't want too.
I don't want to let Mum knows I actually still haven't get over Grandma.
I don't want her to worry.

Sigh. Headache...............

2011-06-20T03:05:00.003+08:00

You know, whenever I think about Grandma is really not around anymore.
I feel my life is not perfect, something huge is missing. But I'm better now.
I'm better when I don't think of her, but every day I'll still think of her.
Last time, when my Cyst came back after I did surgery, which I don't really understand why.
When I told Grandma, she said "Why do you have so many pain? Aiyo."
She gave me a pity look and she was really cute. Just her face, I feel that it was alright.
I thought I'd to take out, but when I went for doctor appointments.
I can actually choose not to take out. Of course, there're advantages and disadvantages.
If I take out, it might come back again. Which is bad.
But if I don't take out, my armpit will have something there and it's quite uncomfortable.
Because I can't shave/pluck my armpit hair. Even if I take out, it's better not to shave/pluck too.
I can only cut it. Which is hard for me to cut for my left armpit. Luckily I don't wear sleeveless.
Even if I can wear, I won't too. It's too ugly to wear when I can't shave/pluck it.
But when Grandma left this world, I would think about my Cyst and I feel so sad.
If Grandma was still alive, it's still alright for me. I wouldn't really think about it.
Now, somewhere I got this thing at there for a long time. I hope it's nothing.
These 2 things make me worried. I hope I'll be fine and it is nothing.

2011-05-30T15:26:00.006+08:00

My Grandma passed away on 14 April, 10.28 am.
14 April, 14/4 doesn't sounds like a good day :( Because 4 in chinese sounds like "die".
I didn't expect it to happen so fast, I don't wish it to happen and I didn't believe.
Brother is getting bad to worst. Or I should say he's back to the same old him.
When Grandma was alive, he wasn't like this.
Because Mum will instruct him to take care of Grandma and give him some money.
So he didn't really go out and drink and make a mess out of himself.
But after Grandma passed away, he is back to his usual self. He went to drink and became mad.
I think I should say mad. He was scary to me. Mum told me to beware.
I don't know if I should be scared and I think I was. Because a drunkard can do anything?
Now I'm controlling my temper and not going to talk much to him unless necessary.
I think everything is alright after all.

Just browsed through my school journal work.
Luckily I scanned some photos into the computer so at least I still can see photos of Grandma and Grandpa when I miss them.
But thinking of them really not around anymore... My heart feels so pain...
:'(

2011-04-21T08:09:00.010+08:00

FOR MY SCHOOLWORK - JOURNAL

I've been wanting to go Hainan Island ever since my second trip there. I love it there as that was Maternal Grandfather and Grandmother's home town. It was also Paternal Grandmother and Grandfather home town.

Maternal's Grandfather built a house there with his hard earned money. The first time I went, the house only had second floor. Before Maternal Grandfather passed away, he had built fourth floor. The house is really beautiful. I've some relatives there too. My Maternal Grandfather's brother stays there, with his family. I also have a niece there. The first time I went, it was to visit Maternal Grandfather's house. Maternal Grandmother was there too. Maternal Grandfather loved to run about, so he travelled to Hainan Island and Singapore whenever he liked. It was in 2005, I was in primary 5. I wasn't close to Maternal Grandmother and Grandfather. Until I went Hainan Island, I got a little close to them. Grandpa always bring us out to walk around at Hainan Island and the most memorable memory was at the market. The market was so huge. A pity Grandmother couldn't tagged along as her legs were weak by that time. Luckily Grandfather was still as fit. I didn't realise Grandmother stayed all the way home until I blog about it now for the this journal. But I remember Grandfather/Grandmother or both of them cooked us a home cooked meal. It was so sweet of them. The memories weren't deep but I can remember a bit of it. Grandpa urged us to go Hainan Island and I've no regrets going. I hoped I could go there very often with Grandfather and Grandmother there with us, bringing us to anywhere and create a lot of memories. So that I could get more close with them. But life is just so ironic.

The second time I went to Hainan Island was in 2007 as Grandfather passed away on 2007, January. So we went there to do some things that needed to be done there. Like calling Grandfather's spirit to Hainan Island, so his's spirit can go there as he loved Hainan Island. And he built a house there for some reasons and one of the reasons was he loved it there and in case Singapore has any disaster, we can flee to there. My Grandfather was such a thoughtful person. I didn't remember how hard it was but I remember we brought Grandmother to Hainan Island too when she had problems walking. Mother took care of her, she was hard to be taken care. She threw temper. I remember she banged the table, I guessed because Grandfather just passed away therefore her mood isn't that good.

From I don't know when, I've always wanted to travel with Maternal's Grandmother, be it just somewhere nearby or Hainan Island I wanted so much but it's so hard because Grandmother is 80 plus years old and she is not confident in herself. Actually I've been with Grandmother at Hainan Island twice but the first time I couldn't be bothered with Grandmother because I wasn't close to her at all and Grandmother couldn't walk so I didn't really spend time with her, Grandfather didn't care much about her cause they always quarrelled but were loving. I was primary 5 at that time so I can't really remember much. Especially when I didn't love Grandmother so much that time, I loved Grandfather more at that point of time because he was the one whom did everything for us. Grandmother couldn't help us cause her legs were weak.

The second trip to Hainan Island was to do Grandfather's stuffs, Grandfather just passed away at that time and I was supposed to be close to Grandmother but because it's not easy to be close to a person at such a short time and Mother hasn't told me to take note of Grandmother so I didn't care much. So this two times I didn't feel that I really travel with her when we actually did but I didn't take the initiative. I didn't thought of it. Actually there's still one more time, 2009, when Grandmother had a fall that caused her can't walk and sit down on her own, that fall doesn't make me feel like I was travelling with her either. I was closed to her but this incident made me very upset and unhappy. Because all this all fated incidents are cruel to me but the one thing I'm glad is that Grandmother overcome it at Hainan Island's hospital despite not able to walk or sit down on her own after the fall. Some doctors thought she might passed away and even said it was hard to bring her back to Singapore.

Some places were still there, like the small cafe that Grandfather brought Mum and I to. I went to that small cafe on the second trip there and memories came back. I teared. I missed Grandfather so much. And now I recalled Paternal's Grandmother stuffs like hiring a person to call Grandmother's spirit to Hainan Island, just 2 years and it was Maternal's Grandfather turn and for the same reason we went back to Hainan Island for the second time to do Grandfather's stuffs. Life is so fragile and so cruel. And that was the year I began to know Maternal's Grandmother more and get more close to her. As Mother told me to care for Grandmother because she always complain nobody is at home and she is alone at home, facing the television and don't understand a single word the television is saying. And I don't know how I just started to care for her, talk to her, found her very adorable. I began to really like her and slowly I dote on her a lot and Grandmother also began to like me and is happy with me around. 2009 was the most unforgettable year. As Grandmother suggested to go back Hainan Island to stay at Grandfather's house because of some issues like my Uncle and Aunts not being able to let Grandmother to take turn to stay at their house for a period of time so my Mother can have a good rest cause Grandmother had a hot temper so she was always quarrelling with Mother. I think Grandmother thought that Mother don't like her to stay in our house or Grandmother thought she is a burden to us. So she suggested to move to Hainan Island for a year or a few months and Mother agreed. But on the day of leaving Singapore, Grandmother told Mother that she don't bear to leave me and she looked sad. Mother told me she asked Grandmother "You really want to leave" (something like that) and Grandmother nod head or say yes. That's why Mother didn't ask her to stay even though she said she don't bear to leave me and looked unhappy. Thinking about it, it's shocking to hear that she don't bear to leave me. I guess because I was the only one who was very closed to her. As traditional old folks always place their son's children than their daughter's children in their mind. Maybe because I doted on her a lot. I'm glad I got closed to her. We went back to Hainan Island the third time because Grandmother had a fall before the few days we reached Hainan Island. If fate didn't play with us, why is it just a few days and Grandmother suddenly couldn't sit on her own, stand her own, do everything on her own and her legs can't straighten when she sleeps just because of that fall? I know the doctors in Hainan Island must have did something to Grandmother's legs that's why Grandmother's legs couldn't straighten anymore as they told Grandmother to keep it a secret. They are cruel and it's not good for them. I don't think Grandmother even blame them! Grandmother blamed herself and told us that the doctor told her to keep it as a secret. Luckily Grandmother told us but there's nothing we could do :'( Mum and I went to the hospital to take care of her, and the first day we reached the hospital, we saw tubes all over her nose and I cried immediately. Non stop crying. I was so afraid at that point of time, I thought Grandmother will just die in the hospital as she looked really weak. Because everything changed just within a few months because of that fall and the inhuman doctor' injection. Because of the situation Grandmother was in, we had to stay in the hospital to take care of her and we experienced rats, creepy stuffs, Grandmother talked to herself and not having good sleep. Quite a few days before Grandmother could leave the hospital, it was so troublesome, I've no idea when Grandmother was getting better. We wanted to hurry up bring Grandmother back to Singapore and it was very hard because Grandmother could only lie down, she can't tolerate the pain to sit down when the fall hurt her spine and caused her spine to bend in or something. After thinking of a lot of ways, we finally could bring Grandmother back, just that we'd to let her tolerate 5 hours plus or even 6 hours of flight to Singapore and we had to spend some money, she was sliding down at her seat in the aeroplane and I've to keep watching her and she was shouting that she couldn't tolerate the pain but I don't know what to do. It hurts so much. It was a big relieved after we were able to bring her back. The fourth time I went back to Hainan Island and the fifth time was just to have some fun and meet with relatives. And from Hainan Island, I could visit both Paternal and Maternal's Grandparents home town, knowing that I've relatives at Hainan Island and get to know them well. I even got a niece there. We can stay in contact despite both side of my Grandparents are not around anymore.

Here are some photos:

Caption: With third and fifth cousin. I've only seen them for the first time when I went to Hainan Island for the first time.

Caption: I don't know if I took this shot of beloved Grandmother as I wasn't closed to her in 2005, it could be Mum. So cute of Grandmother to smile like this :D I feel so happy seeing this photo.

Caption: Mum and I at Hainan Island's beach.

Caption: Third cousin, Grandfather and I ♥ I'm glad I've a photo with Beloved Grandfather in this trip :D I've never had a photo taken with Grandfather so close together.

Caption: I love this place because this place is great and it's because Grandfather loved this place.

Caption: With Beloved Grandmother, our distance were so far in 2005. Grandmother weren't used to taking photo or I should say the timing was wrong and Mother should have taken another shot. But it's fate that Mother didn't.

Caption: Beloved Grandfather at his Hainan Island house's rooftop. This house is going to be sold away soon :'( Because both Grandpa and Grandma is not around anymore and due to some reasons :'( I miss both of them so much. How I wish they're still alive and I wish I can dote on them as much as I can give them. But I can't anymore. I've no grandparents left.

Caption: With third cousin and at the top picure is a family photo of Grandmother, Grandfather, Big Aunt and Third Aunt, Mother and Uncle inside of it.

2011-03-16T01:29:00.009+08:00

Brother has a very weird attitude and temper yesterday.
I used "please" and "thanks" for carrying Grandma and he complained to Mum that I order him to do things -_-
So Mum lied to him that she had scolded me and then he messaged me with an ordering attitude.
Now he plays with us, he didn't answer calls. I hope he will reply messages.
It's like as if I'm the one at fault. It's his weird temper for goodness sake.
Brother, please don't find trouble whenever we're going abroad. Thank you very much.

God bless Grandma and everyone in the family.

2011-02-13T23:57:00.006+08:00

I'm scared of growing up. Seriously.

Plan failed and left Shiela, Sixian and I went shopping around at Bugis Street.
Kekeke, bought some rings and ear studs. I'm going to get some watches and pants next time round ^^
Had a great time as I ate Vanilla Ice-cream with Chocolate Sauce, Bar Chor Mee with Chilli, Chicken Satay and Chicken Wing at 85 market with Shiela. He-he-he.
I love 85's food although I wasn't craving for anything. Maybe because now my stomach is empty.
Later on lesson is at 1 pm, so maybe there's enough sleep for me and maybe not as I'm planning to bring Grandma to the market in the morning and catch some dramas before I head to school.
Never mind, I will have a good sleep at night later.

2011-01-30T21:57:00.014+08:00

All of these was my lunch on the 28 January!!
I thought I could finish it but it was too much -_-
This's crazy. I craved for Cheese Fries last minute and I ordered this instead of Peanut Waffle.

I missed Wanton for a few days and I finally got to eat it on the 28. Not nice! :-O, :@

I missed Tom Yam Mee Hoon Kueh for a day and I ate it the next day!

On the 27, I ate Mee Goreng :P It has been really long since I ate that. Yummy to the max!
I also ate Beef Guo Tiao and Salted Fish Fried Rice at night! Really yummy!!
Or maybe because I was too hungry. Ok, this is crazy. I've been eating a lot!

After my heavy lunch on the 28, I ate Spring Roll, You Tiao with Tofu and half Char Siew Bun! :-O
I also got myself a Track Pants and a Black Coat at Tampines ^^

On the 29, I ate Fillet O-fish as I was having a huge crave for it and in the end I add ala carte Nuggets.
Full to the max! I just can't control my mouth and I bought sweets which was the worst sweets I've ever eaten.
I ordered Red Ruby when I was still feeling really full, I didn't finish it for the first time.
Finally I bought for myself a Purple LED Watch as one of my classmates have it.
It's cool and nice, cost me $20 but worth the price as it's water resistance.
After that, we went to the Arcade. I had lots of fun shooting basketballs into the basket!!
And played some other games in there. After that, home sweet home.
I ate more food. Chicken Wings and Fried Rice!
Today, I couldn't resist food temptation. I ate don't know how many Chocolate Rolls, Fried rice with Eggs, Hot Dogs, Seaweed Chickens and Mac'spicy with Cheese!!
Although Grandma eats many meals a day but I think I eat more than her. Ha-ha-ha.

Am I a monster? Kekeke.

-

-

Aunt June last minute didn't come to my house today, she comes here every Sunday ^^
Due to the big rain, I think everyday it's raining. Weird weather :-O
I just realised it has been long since I last took photo with Grandma! Hopefully tomorrow!! ♥
I'm intending to bring Grandma to the market at 7 am tomorrow, please let me wake up!!
I thought of bringing Grandma to the market on Saturday, and I couldn't make it so I thought of Sunday and I still couldn't make it.
Grandma is just so adorable. Kekeke.
My love for her will be forever but I wonder will my love be lasting for other people?
Well, I randomly saw this program on television about divorce. I feel that marriage is quite scary.
And when my lecturer told us about how marriage will get boring like after 10 years.
I believe some marriage get boring less than 10 years.
But if it's fated, just have to face it.
It's easy to say but when it becomes real, it's really torturing.
*yawn* It's monday tomorrow. Thanks God that lesson is starting at 1pm / 2pm tomorrow.
And 2 days break for Chinese New Year this week. Great ^^
I'm really tired everyday. Super exhausted everyday.

2011-01-25T22:10:00.006+08:00

Thank you for always being so money-faced so I can bring myself to remind you to return a small amount of money to my precious someone.
I don't understand why is it so hard when it's just $2? Why do you have to let me feel so bad cause I can't forget it.
Although it's a small amount of money but your action made it seems like stealing and not lending!
I rather rely on myself to do the job. You only wanted to help when I sort of threatened you.
I don't want it to be like this. I would like you to help sincerely if not forget it.
Hopefully I can bring myself to remind you tomorrow again.
Come on, it's not hard at all. Just return the $2 and I will feel good, you will feel good too (not hearing my reminder.)
I can help not for the sake of money, I hope one day you can too. Thank you. God bless.
Sigh :( Whenever I think of how much you suffered, I feel so... Soft-hearted.
But you're a grown up, please be responsible and mature.

My beloved Grandma is just so adorable. No matter how many times I'm going to say this.
She is just so adorable. I love her. He-he. She just brightened up my day everyday I reached home after a long day in school.

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I think I will never forget what you said to me. That sounds good.

2011-01-22T00:11:00.005+08:00

This year, I remember thinking of Huimin 2 times.
I think this shows that I will never forget her in my life.
Frankly speaking, after Huimin passed away on April 2010.....
Firstly, I was really stunned and upset. Afterwards, still can't get over it.
I needed friends desperately as my family can't help me.
I'm glad to have their accompany the next day, after the day we visited Huimin at her wake.
These 10 days in my new school, sometimes I thought if she was by my side and what course will she takes.
Actually I thought she might not be in mind anymore after a long period of time.
Nearly a year she left us. And I've not seen her for more than a year. (Not including at her wake.)
Sigh. Life. I know I might sound silly here.
But sometimes I really hope to leave this world or hope that I'd never been born at all.

Someone gave me hope when this year some small things happened.
I never thought that someone will talk to me. I never thought. I only wished.
Well, it never lasted and I still find it like a dream at times.
Never mind, just ignore it and get on with life as you should Ong Jiale.
Be happy. Smile ^^

I love Grandma. As always. He he.

P.S: I'm always finding perfection in my life, I know I'm not perfect myself but I guess I'm trying to be perfect in some ways. I guess. But I still don't think I'm really trying. Well, I guess some people are like me, can't help but love to find perfection in some things.

2011-01-14T22:35:00.004+08:00

A brand new start. It's 2011.
Life - It won't go smooth all the time.
Currently feeling down.

Come on, Ong Jiale. Face it with a smile! ^^
Since you're fated to be in this world, just face it.
Your life is not bad, so do treasure it.

*headache*

2011-01-01T00:24:00.003+08:00

I've gathered up my courage to ask that someone to do something with responsibility.
I hope that person will really do it, I don't like to remind over and over again.
If not I can't get it off my mind. I wanted to let it go but I can't. I don't feel good.
I'll feel guilty and bad. Although I'm soft hearted but I still feel that person's action is bad.
So I must remind that person again and again.
I feel much more better after reminding again.
That person said it's an easy task but end up it seems so hard when it's really easy to do it.

Just now some things came to my mind when I was taking a stroll nearby my house downstairs.
I posted a lot of statuses like as if my facebook is my twitter or blog.
I'm going to repeat it here again.
Left hand sprained and when I want to put my hand straight, it hurts.
If I'm an old lady, I'll be in so much pain. What to do? Life is like this.
I believe this is how my Grandma feels.
When I told her my hand is in pain, she shaked her head and said "Your armpit is in pain and followed by your hand".
How can all these compare to Grandma when it was only my surgery that hurts a lot?
The only thing that hurts is my cyst is still here. Call it cyst or abcess.
I wonder if I'll ever need another surgery. I hope not.
But it's hard to say, I can do this surgery any time if it's not going to disappear and if it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Of course, I would really hope to remove once and for all.
But all I can do now is to just forget it first. I know it's here everyday but at least I can make myself feel better everyday by not worrying about it.
:-S I've said too much, like a blog.

Above was what I posted on my facebook. Such a long thoughts.
While I was walking, I thought to myself "10 days and I need to go back to school life, please get use to it and avoid making mistakes in a new school".

Anyway, yesterday was the first time I fried eggs for Dad, Mum and Bro.
Mum was angry because Dad ate the first two eggs I fried and he came to me unexpectedly.
So the third egg I fried was ugly in shape, so does the fourth, luckily the fifth was pretty.
Gave Mum the fifth one as she was nagging how Dad doesn't fork out in this family and wants to eat this and that.
I was angry while hearing her nagging as she said "You're a fool".
But I don't remember hatred as it's the fact that Dad is a person whom don't support us.
Mum is the one who works hard all year and still can't take a good rest at this age.

I always love Mum, Grandma, Sis, relatives and friends.

2010-12-30T02:23:00.002+08:00

Actually I'm really guilty about something.
Although I didn't do it but I still feel that I've the responsibility to help.
But I let it go because that person really helped a lot. That person helped because of something.
I still feel very uneasy. I guess I better remind that person to return something.
No matter how soft hearted I am. If that person really forget, I don't know what to say.
Argh!

However, my result is out. And I believe in God.
He had helped me chose the best route for me :)
I'm a free thinker but it's a self-belief thing.
I think He knows I can't travel far and it was really tiring for me when it was merely a interview.
I was half dead when I reached Bedok from Choa Chu Kang.
I kept nagging and complaining. It was just a day and I found it so hard.
I hope for the best in everything and hope God bless me.
I've always said "Everything in life is predestined". I believe in it.
Of course, I would hope everything goes well for me and more of good things coming to my way.
But you can't control everything in life right? Just let nature takes it own course.
As long as you do your best. That's what I believe in.

Love Grandma, Mum, Sis, relatives and friends.

2010-12-26T06:34:00.002+08:00

Not a success in taking pictures at all. It was so hard and sad.
All I heard was Mum's nagging. I was really upset but now I'm feeling better.
I've thought about it. Just be cool with it. It's a small matter. There's always next time.
I'm going to go jogging later. Hopefully I'll be willing to walk out of my house and go jog. Hahaha.
I'm going to finish "He's Beautiful". Finally I've the time to watch this drama and finishing it soon.
Next year is going to be a busy year for me. So I'm going to complete dramas by 2011!
And next year concentrate on my studies and of course I'll give myself a break occasionally.
That's all I've to say. I'll blog again soon.

Always love Grandma, Mum and Sis.

2010-12-24T21:56:00.002+08:00

It has been 10 days since I last blogged.
I remember saying I'll blog frequently as before but I still couldn't do it.
I guess I'm just really not used to it.
Today is Christmas Eve but I can't feel it. HAHAHA.
Well, I don't celebrate Christmas too. Nothing to celebrate though.
I could go to a church event but I choose not to. I prefer staying at home and do my things.
I couldn't control to sleep just now and I slept for few hours, that sucks.
Because I'm having headache when I sleep for too long. I intended to sleep for half an hour.
I need to adjust my time soon cause school is on after 16 days.
I really don't know what to say. Let God decides :)
Totally don't like the distant but I've no choice. ONG JIALE, YOU CAN DO IT!!
My friend who might be going to the same campus as me is not answering my call.
I don't know to hope for my interview go well or not, just let natural takes it own course.
God, I sincerely hope you will plan the best route for me. Thank you.

Anyway, I'm celebrating Christmas tomorrow with Family.
As in, I'm celebrating for a purpose. For eating with Grandma, Mum and whoever can make it.
I guess I'm baking cake tomorrow again. I think just a sponge cake. I hope it goes well.
Pictures will be up!! Hehehe. ONG JIALE, TOMORROW MUST TAKE PICTURES WITH FAMILY! ♥

2010-12-14T00:59:00.006+08:00

I FEEL SO FAT!! SHOULDN'T I FEEL THIS WAY?

I've been eating a lot for this two days. Not really this two days. It's this holidays.

Because I was really upset the day before. REALLY VERY UPSET.

I shouldn't mention it and I will stop mentioning it.

I shall say about my fried rice. I think just pass!! HAHAHA. Edible.

I put too much dark soya sauce so ye, it's really black for me.

HEHEHE, want to see? Here it is!

I've still... some things bothering me but ye, I'll be strong. I'm a strong girl.

I don't feel like going Hainan Dao already. It's alright, I'll see you all, my relatives soon!!
(If I really can't go Hainan Dao soon, I've to accept it.)
I hope I can go BK since it's 3 days.
I would like to shopping now!! But the thought of entering a new school really sucks.

I don't feel that I've really enjoyed during this holidays.
Well, it's never enough. I'll just have to accept it. Life is like this. Ya.

Everyone need to work hard unless you're really lucky.

And this is a merge photo I've found it quite long ago.

This girl does have some similarity with Linda Chung but they don't look alike.
I guess it's just the angle of the photo.

Oh ye, last but not least, Liyin accompanied me yesterday. Thanks a lot girl! ♥♥♥ Hehe.
We watched "Shutter"! A horror movie.
Liyin is really nice and tomorrow it's Lily turn! ♥♥♥ Hehehe.
(I don't think Liyin will see this post though.)

I guess I just really need friends by my side.

Thank you all!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2010-12-12T08:57:00.005+08:00

SOME RANDOM PHOTOS, I MISS THEM.

ME ;-) In anime. Created by Sharon.

Weikiat, my best friend in school. Plus Huimin.

Siew Hoon, first photo with her.

Liyin, my ex twins. In the past, people said we looked alike.

Zulaika edited this. Hehe.

Some of my classmates.

Old Fold Factory.

Class chalet.

Editing neoprint at neoprint's shop.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Today is a Sunday.
I guess Aunt June is coming today and maybe she is bringing some nice food for us. Hehe.
Later on I'm going to cook fried rice on my own for the first time, for Grandma and I.
If Bro and Dad want to eat, then go ahead. If it taste badly, I don't care.
Of course I hope it doesn't, as Grandma is going to eat too. And myself.
Time passes so fast. Holidays is coming to an end.
Unless I'm taking April intake. But who likes to take April intake?
April intake means the first course you chose is not accepted. I think.
I hope the flight ticket will be $200 plus so I can visit my relatives at Hainan Dao!! ;-)
(Sadly, it's not, It's $400 plus per person. Should we go or shouldn't we? :-( I REALLY WANT TO GO THERE SO MUCH!!)
I've been meeting friends that I haven't seen for a long time.
I'm loving it. I love my girls. And I miss some of my friends too but haven't got the chance to meet them.. =(
But if it's fated this way, I'll accept it and live with it.
Of course I hope it's not fated this way.

I'm going JB with Sis, Sis's bf and Michelle on this coming Saturday.
Finally!!

I've also tried 7 Cheese Pizza!! Thanks a lot Mum!! MUM IS ALWAYS THE BEST!
Although she did nag, she is always like this. I still love her cause she is always the best!!

2010-11-26T00:15:00.011+08:00

23 November I was out with Racy and Sixian. We treated Racy to "18 Chefs".
Simei and Bugis. Always the same places! Boring. Well, we took neoprints!! He he. $18! O.o 18 Chefs.
I hope Racy likes the baked rice ;) My baked rice is not bad though and it's affordable.
I don't really like the cheese fries!! Wasted!!
Initially, I wanted to bring Grandma to the Market but I can't as I didn't have enough sleep.
I slept at 7am plus. This's mad. Last minute supposed to meet Sharon but time clashed.
All time clashed! And I wanted to spend more time with Racy and Sixian :P
So I skipped meeting Sharon, I hope to see her tomorrow provided if time doesn't clash!!
I met Jiejie and her friends and we ate at Popeyes!! He he he.
First time eating a meal of Popeyes, for me it's still alright but I still love it cause I like the people eating with me.
I missed Shiela and she was nearby my house, so I met her but can't go for supper anymore!
I was quite full too.. So maybe tomorrow having supper with Shiela ;)

I bought a folded strawberry wallet where 2 years back Shuyuan bought for me one as my birthday present but it was spoiled.
Amazingly, they still sell the strawberry wallet.
They said some customers are still looking for it, that's why they still have it.
HA HA, and they told me to visit the shop frequently, not every 2 years!!

Second rounds of ice-cream :P

Neoprints.

24 November I was out with Merlene, I missed Sakae Teppanyaki, so we ate that!
After that, we were still at Tampines, don't know where to go.

A lot of photos were taken. Once in a while go out with her.

I love Darling's camera!

I didn't expect "Megamind" to be so amazingly nice! But it was so nice that I want to watch it again!
I love it!! Animation show could be not bad too.
After taking pictures with Merlene, we went separate ways and I met Shiela.
We went to eat supper at 85 market, cheese fries, BBQ chicken wings, oyster egg and satay! :P

I was laughing at this, I've no idea why!!

Till here!

P.S: I want to go Korea with Racy and Sixian one fine day!!
Japan, Hainan, Hongkong and Taiwan!! All my love!! :P ;) :-* :D :)

2010-11-24T09:14:00.014+08:00

Prom night with all some of my classmates and all of the graduating classes.
I won't praise the food but atmosphere and decorations etc was alright.
My feet hurts and there's some cut cause of my high heels.
I love the last part, the dance, like at Disco.

Posing for the camera :)

They called me LadyGaga. Ha ha ha, I'm not interested in imitating her.
But well, I really love my whole outfit. It's worth it ;-) Got the glove idea from "Gossip Girl".

And my mask is made by dearest Sis, as well as my head accessory.

My form teacher, Ms Marinah! ♥ : Rini! ♥

Suyin! ♥

Shiela! ♥ : Marlissa! ♥

Safwan! ♥ : Munir! ♥

Weikiat! ♥ : Shiting! ♥

Jamal! ♥ : Fikri! ♥

Jonathan! ♥ : Arham! ♥

Yaling! ♥ : Haikal! ♥

Mr Mike! ♥ : Tzeyang! ♥

Lavesh! ♥

Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel ;)

With the Principal.

With Mr Shamsul.

Last cute shot!

The last moment, twist ;)
Love love love.

2010-11-19T06:16:00.004+08:00

I was out with Racy and Liyin yesterday.
My day was well spent. Full of laughter.
Racy and Liyin told me amazing and interesting stories.
Of course, some are really creepy and scary but it's real stories.
I did told them some too.
Racy said I can be a comedian. Ha ha, really? O:
I've enjoyed my day with them to the fullest!!
We had student meals at Pizza Hut.
I must try the 7 cheese pizza one day!! MUST!! :P
I also want to make oreo cheesecake one day and bake cake by myself.
I also want to buy a lot of accessories!! Anything I want and work!!
I sound like...... I don't feel like typing but of course I'll have negative thought when I see negative sentence but of course I'll be positive.
I'll try my best from all the encouragement!! He he. I love those who care.
I want to eat a lot of food before my surgery day, not confirm if 25 is the surgery day though.
A pity we forgot to try Racy's own made cake. Hope there's another time Racy will make it so we can try it :D
I love going out with them, see you all soon again girls!
I love you all!

2010-11-15T01:21:00.006+08:00

Random photos.

Mee goreng instant noodle with a lot of food added :D

Ate this with Mum, introduced by her, thanks dearest Mum ♥ Mum's always the best! ♥♥♥

Ramen Ten with dearest Sis for the second time after so long! ♥

With Sis, I always get to eat delicious food. He he!

My beloved sweetie Grandma ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Black carrot cake with prawn

Emi's durian cheesecake

Emi's chocolate fudge

Ate at Pasta de WARAKU with Sis :P

Sis introduced me this creamy pasta, indeed it was great but I was so full! ♥

I ♥ BACON!!

2010-11-15T00:43:00.007+08:00

I thought I'll be depress for the whole week until prom night and maybe I'll cheer up a little.
Actually I don't feel happy or sad but I feel normal. I never go and think and think much about my surgery already.
Just let nature take it own course. Since I'm fated to do surgery after prom, then just face it :)
God bless me but if God won't, I don't think I'll blame either...
(I don't like saying this sentence, out of a sudden.)

Class chalet was on the 10 november and checked out on 11 november.
I brought my stuffs but I didn't stay in the end. Yaling stayed at my house instead ;)
I miss the food Ms Marinah brought.. Chicken and Oreo cheesecake!! Oreo cheesecake was made by herself.
I want to make it next time and I hope it'll be a success.
Initially I felt sick of the cheese but I love it. I only ate 2 piece!!
I heard 3 piece of it was thrown ): WASTED!! So delicious. I love cheese!!

Dad is drunk, continuous 2 days. He was smiling like a fool the day before and he's smiling like a fool now after Mum scolded him. Speechless.
The pictures on the chalet, only Suyin haven't send me yet.. She's always the slowest, in everything.
Never mind, I shall wait.

Cupcakes made by Marlissa.

2010-11-11T22:58:00.005+08:00

I thought I can have surgery today but in the end it's postpone. I can't remember what's the reason I can't do the surgery but I know need parent's consent. I've no one to talk to now and I choose not to talk to anyone in this family. I rather pour out my feelings here. Sis actually remembered that I wrote on my facebook "I hope Grandma's pain can be transfer to me". Ye, I nearly forgot about this and when Sis told me not to type this kind of thing anymore, I don't know when I start to drop tears again. I don't know how many times did I cry today but while I was bathing, I thought to myself "In the end, I said God, I don't want to use die anymore to help Grandma, I'll feel so unbearable to leave this world". Actually I can't really remember what I said though. But I know I thought to myself again, since I must have this surgery, so if possible Grandma can sit on her own first and walk then it's all worth it. I just love Grandma a lot. Mum says "You're too young, whatever you can do to help Grandma, it's enough already. This kind of thing is very supersititious, like what I prayed whle I had your btoehr (as my brother could either get low iq or like now normal), and I don't want to say anymore of what I said in my prayers, later you follow me". Sis also said it's unncessary to wish this kind of thing but I guess it's because I love Grandma simply too much. Although like what Mum said, many others should take this instead cause I'm just a granddaughter and not Grandma's kids. Yes, I was really afraid when I heard either I can just go home straight after the surgery or I must let my skin open and can see my flesh insde (sounds really scary) and I must take general anaesthetic (I heard from many people this has side effects) and I heard from Sis what if overdose.... Ye, I was scared. But now... I don't know how to describe how I feel now and I care a lot for those I care who doesn't ask about it at all and I'm truly grateful some who is not close to me at all concern about me unlike some others. I got so much to type but phew, my brain is quite blank now which is good too so I don't need to think so much. I can rest my brain as soon as 12am. Ok, my final last thought is that "I must meet all my friends that I want to meet before my surgery". And I realised it's on Huimin's birthday, maybe it's this day that I'm doing this surgery. And I hate that general anaesthetic have side effects........ Does that mean I've to suffer more in the later future? Fine, I shall not think about the future but just the present now.

2010-11-10T03:34:00.002+08:00

Dear God, I wish I'll be doing my surgery on the 11 of November. I wish it to end fast. I don't want any postpone. God bless me.

2010-11-07T04:07:00.001+08:00

Finally I'm able to type again. I've been wasting don't know how many minutes when I'm supposed to be sleeping now. But I want to say my piece before I sleep. I can't sleep just now, I typed very long words of my thoughts and it's not save and it's gone as I'm using phone to blog. This's the first time i'm using phone to blog. I can't sleep and I'm thinking of my surgery all day long. Within 24 hours, I'll think of the surgery as initially I was afraid of the pain i''ll be enduring. But now I'm scared of the risk and the money. General anaesthetic or local? This's not the first time I'm doing surgery, it's my second but I'm still feeling scared and nervous as Sis said general anaesthetic has risk but I'm unsure if local anaesthetic has risk. Actually I've plan some questions to ask the surgeon.. I've been thinking about Grandpa just now. I miss him a lot and I know most probably I won't see him anymore but I hope I'll someday but if there's recarnation, maybe he's already in a new world :'( I... Some things I just can't say here, it's so torturing. I want to say so much things but some things I just can't say it if not I don't know what will happen. Some people love to pick on me a lot, I still young what. Some of my friends have told me "God bless you" and I've just this kind of feeling, in this world, none care for you cause they're not you. Weird thought huh? But that's really how I feel. Or it applies to me only? Ha ha. *sad laugh* last but not least, I've always wished for Grandma to sit on her own, I really hope God can grant me this wish, let me faiaint, I don't mind!! Life.......... Torture? Happy? Hard? Short? Unpredictable? I don't know.... Many more. This's life and I don't really like they way it are. But I just have to accept it cause I can't change it. Live for the moment.

2010-11-02T01:06:00.007+08:00

I just saw Darling's blog not long ago. I've the urge to post photos too!
It has been long since I blogged so no photos updated too.

I'll upload now until I've finished my words to Darling.

Hehehe! If you ever see this too, <3<3<3<3<3>See you soon! Come visit me in the hospital if I need to have surgery and if I need to stay.

Group photo on Grandma's birthday.

I was helping Grandma to cut cake.

The first day studying at Airport!

Weikiat looking sleepy..

Second time studying at airport with Weikiat, Hazmi and Zulaika.

The last day at Airport studying with Lily, Suyin and Weikiat

I miss drinking this. Suddenly I forgot the name of this..

Old Ford Factory

Summarise: They showed us video and pictures with explanation of how this Japanese treated us. Japanese were VERY CRUEL!!

Dearest Meiling, see you soon again! ;)

Dearest Sharon

Mum's birthday cake!! I miss it! :P Marlissa helped me bake this cake ;)

Not bad :P Treat by Sis. He he.

My favourite! *swallowing saliver*

All photos taken with Grandma ;)

Movie with the girls, "The Child's Eye"

Shiela's 16th birthday

Shiela, the birthday girl!!

Yaling, a very nice friend ;)

Marlissa, the one who always miss my Grandma :D

Grandma and I accompanying Yaling to eat her dinner...

Went out with the MS for the job finding...

Mexico Chicken, my love!!

Salmon steak, big love!!

I love this. Yummy yummy :P

Cooked by Hazmi's maid, the taste seems different from 2 years before but thanks a lot anyway :)

Celebrating Hari Raya with beloved classmates..

Syahidah, Zulaika

Mirza

Shiela, she looks like Malay right? But she's not.

My form teacher, Ms Marinah's daughter, she is so shy and adorable.

Say cheese

Yaling

Putri

Shiting

Lantern festival with Grandma and Mum <3

Asking Grandma to try to twist, hehe

Asking her to give me a smile..

She gave me a crooked smile instead.. Ha ha.

Lunch with Sharon and Weikiat, my favourite Salmon..

Delicious durian mooncake, I want to buy it next year again!!

Strawberry cheesecake, looks really yummy? But I don't like, not delicious at all! (maybe only the top part)

Chocolate cake, the top part is nice.

Random shot of Grandma at the Market.

Shuyuan, Me, Suvd, Racy and Shiela.. It's impossible for us to hang out again?

I miss hanging out with Sixian and Lily! He he.

Simpang bedok's chicken rice, best!!

Hari Raya, I'm loving it! I love Malay's houses, but a pity can't go Shah's house this year. I miss his Mum )=

Siti

This fish is super nice, I'm going to eat is soon!!

Egg tarts

Har Kow, my favourite!!

Smiling to Grandma and at the same time trying to make her smile..

Slacking under my block with Lily.. Nice day.

Tom Yam instant noodle with my favourite cheese tofu

Saba Fish

This cooked mashed potato, I'm not going to eat this every again! Waste of money!

Cute Grandma :)

Out with Lily, Pastamania? Couldn't remember.

I only like the top part.. Ha ha, it's always the top part..

Geylang serai with Lily. Food feast!! :)

Actually Lily said it's not that delicious, ha ha.

Zulaika edited this, you better mean your words if not I'll get very upset. So sweet... :)

Marlissa, Zulaika

Siewhoon, first photo taken with her.

Some of my classmates..

Weikiat

Marlissa, Putri and Haikal

Shopping!!

All at Market or going Market with Grandma

Morning

Afternoon

Night

Grandma without teeth, heeheehee. Super adorable! ;)

2010-11-01T14:04:00.003+08:00

I'm deciding to blog again!!
I stopped blogging for nearly two months!
Part of the reason was because I was waiting for another group photo on Grandma's birthday.
But Cousin said it was not well taken so she didn't send me so just forget it, I didn't want to trouble her to send me the photo again.
I guess she's busy with her stuffs.
Although I want to see how blur the photo was taken. If it's still acceptable that I can print it out.

My holidays equal to Grandma, family and of course friends!
I love them all, so much!!
I look forward to seeing all of my friends!!
I look forward to have breakfast with Grandma or with Grandma and friends!!
I look forward to have any moment that I can spend with family!!
This might sounds bored but I'm enjoying every moment of it! ;)

I can't work because of my scheming maid.
Therefore I've to stay home most of the time and yes it's most of the time.
I hope Grandpa's cousins are coming to visit my Grandma soon again.
I also hope that I'll be able to bring Grandma to Bedok Interchange after we got Grandma's ezlink from Uncle.
Actually I can't wait for next year's new year. I look forward to family reunion so much!
Grandma loves family reunion too... I can see.

I'm not going for class chalet as I'm short of money and I need the money that I paid initially.
It's sad and I know most likely this class chalet won't happen for the second time but I just have to miss it.
Perhaps I can start working after my surgery. Really, I wish I wouldn't need to have surgery if possible.
Let's see what the doctor says tomorrow. I'm going to the Clinic early in the morning, I hope!!
Gosh, I forgot to eat my medicine in the morning, luckily I'm blogging now and I can eat it now!!
I think I'm prepared for another surgery but what I hate is that the sum of money need to spend as Mum is always the one paying it and I'm thinking of the pain that I'll have to endure during the surgery too.
I need to get some cash from Dad. I hope he'll give!!

Amazingly, I'm blogging so many words like last time.
Most probably I'll be blogging tomorrow. Bye!

2010-09-08T01:38:00.005+08:00

Happy 84th Birthday Grandma!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Grandma always don't know how to smile!!

Every year, Grandma's birthday date is different because we only know her chinese birthday date.
He he he, I love it whenever we've the chance to gather with our relatives.
Be it on Chinese New Year, Grandma's birthday or other events.
More photos to be uploaded!
I love my Grandma, family and relatives!!
^-^
I hug Grandma!! I love her a lot!
;-)

2010-09-03T01:41:00.013+08:00

I just realised it applies to you too.

I brought Grandma out for the 4th time! He he.
I don't think I'm able to sleep soon. Looks like I can sleep only by 4am.
I got to wake up in 2 hours plus later.
Going to the airport to study at 11pm later on till morning. This sounds mad.
Weikiat and Jonathan confirmed. Hope there won't be troublesome people joining.
This coming Sunday is a special day, Grandma's 84th birthday! ^-^
(I still remember Aunt Cindy made a mistake last year, she asked the person to write Happy 84th Birthday! When it'a 83th Birthday!)
Grandma's actual birthday is on the 8 September but we're celebrating earlier as most of the people will be free on Sunday.
Well, every year Grandma's birthday date will be changing as we only know her chinese birthday date.
I can't wait for family reunion again!! :D

"Love In Disguise", not bad!

Saba fish!! (Y)

Kimchi fried rice!! (Y)

I love spicy food!!

Ate Claypot yam duck and Bak kut teh with Mum and Grandma ;-) (Y)

Ate at some chinese restaurant with Mum! ;-)

Went to see Shiela, Zulaika and Rini practising dance..

3 more days to N'levels!

2010-08-29T01:54:00.005+08:00

When I realised that I can't compare to your friend or other friends.
When I feel envy or jealous. Was it the right feeling?
I think it's just all mixed-up feelings!

It sucks that my determination NEVER last long!
All I care about is just Grandma. Yes, it's true.
I do care about my future but I'm just being emotional about my stupid choice made.
There is always mistakes and regrets in life. It just can't be avoided.
We don't know if every choice made was right or wrong. We just have to go with our feelings and instincts.
Life is short. Really short. How much 10 years can Humans have?
We must live life happily and do everything you wish to do! Don't live to regret!
Of course, you know what to do and what not to do.
I'm 16 now, turning into 40s - 50s is very fast.
In a blink of an eye, I'll be old. Of course, I wish to be healthy and able to take care of myself.
When one is old, they have to take care of themselves very well. As old folks is very weak.
It's fated that I'm born into this family and to know those friends of mine.
I've to remind myself that "No one is perfect". I shouldn't demand too much from some of my friends!
But all I ask from all my friends is just to be earnest, honest and reasonable.
Isn't it easy?

Well, I understand it's hard for some people because no one is perfect.
However, I still don't understand why some people just couldn't do simple things. Argh!
Ong Jiale, take it easy!!
I shan't make myself angry over unworthy people.

Anyway, my Grandma is so adorable!!!
I know I've been saying it for umpteen times but she is improving! He he! ^-^
She is requesting to go Market almost everyday! She loves to go out!
(I mean, she always love to go Market but after her fall, she couldn't tolerate the pain in her backbone thus she don't like to go out because whenever she sit on the wheelchair, she feels pain.)
I know she still do feel pain but she don't nag anymore. She could even sit for an hour plus!
Until just now when Mum called, I told Grandma to wait for Mum.
She couldn't tolerate, as she need to pass motion. Ha ha. She showed me a shocked face.
In the end, she didn't pass motion. I asked her if she lied, she didn't answer.
I really don't know if she lied though. Doesn't matter.
I look forward to bring her to the Market tomorrow with Family! :D

Good luck to me for everything!

All I ask for is Grandma to recover. Which means that she can sit up on her own, stand up on her own, walk on her own(with walking stick or not) and for peace at home.
I can sacrifice anything but not the thing that I'm most afraid of. God knows.
(Yes, even death. If possible.)
Thank you.

2010-08-18T18:12:00.012+08:00

WISH MYSELF A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (BELATED)

Thank you Racy, Liyin and Sixian for the surprise although Sixian came late.

Every year, my wish will be the one and only wish.

Thank you Mum for the treat and Dad for the birthday cake.

Thank you Yaling for the surprise and the gift too.

Thank you Sis and Sis's bf for the treat.

Thank you Sharon, Suyin, Jonathan and Weikiat for the celebration.

All of you are so sweet to me. My 16th birthday is quite a sweet one! ^0^
Especially, my birthday messages. It's the first year I keep birthday messages, let it be a 16th special.

It was so unexpected of Racy, Liyin and Sixian to give me this birthday surprise!
Especially, Liyin, as it has been long since I last saw her and I don't expect anything from her.
I knew the surprise when Racy passed me the scrapbook she decorated. Ha ha, she very blur but cute.

Liyin kept saying her dumb? If I'm not mistaken. So bad of Liyin. HA HA.

I'm shocked that Yaling appeared at my house door too. But I was not home!

So the surprise failed too. I'm happy still!! :D

Yaling passed me the gift that I've longed for! But Sis bought for me first.

It's alright. It's the thoughts that counts!
Furthermore, I'm so rough. I'll be able to use it very soon.

I can exchange the mouse whenever I want too.

THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO PUT IN EXTRA EFFORT FOR ME.
THANK YOU EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! I APPRECIATE IT!

^-^

2010-08-11T01:03:00.012+08:00

First time the three of us hang out together, just the three of us.
A pity that Sharon edited the effects of the photos that I want to print out. She deleted the original.
Never mind, three of us shall take photos soon again!
We went Bugis. Wanted to buy Koi's milk tea, my all-time favourite but it was such a long queue! (As always.)
It was so warm at the queue so we decided to go Bugis street and get some $1 drinks.
We bought some Pancakes also but was too full to eat it straightaway.
I carried it around and about half an hour later then we ate it. It turned cold, not nice.
Weikiat bought Fried mars bar, very sweet but delicious!
We ate lunch before walking around and took neoprints. Had an enjoyable day with both of you thought it was short.
Had a lot of talkings and laughter.
Took photos too, here it is!

My all-time favourite, Ku Hye Sun! ^-^ How great if there was Linda Chung's photo badge.

Weikiat was telling me to imitate this cat as he thinks I'm good at making this expression! Ha ha. So I tried imitating, ha ha ha.

My so-called Mummy and Daddy! ;)

P.S: I miss pretzel!

2010-07-30T19:40:00.002+08:00

Two things that will make me sad is Huimin and Grandma.
Talking about this reminds me of Grandpa too..
I had only visited Hainan Dao once with Grandpa there.
Well, better than none. BIG SIGH.
Life is fragile yet cruel.
I lost paternal Grandma in 2003, I lost maternal Grandpa in 2007 and I lost Huimin in 2010.
Grandma kept requesting to go out Market and eat nowadays when there is food at home.
I feel like bringing Grandma to Sharon's house nearby to eat the delicious Duck rice Sharon's Mum said but it's quite far for us to bring Grandma there.
As Grandma couldn't sit too long in the wheelchair, she'll feel intolerable pain.
BIG SIGH. How great if Grandma can walk soon. I know she can, right?
I really wish I can do something in return for her to stand up and walk.
Or exchange something..

I wish...
God bless.

Met Darling today, see you soon again dear.
=)
I love Despicable Me. AWESOME.
Dumpling and Salmon pepper rice with cheese.

SO EXHAUSTED but have to get on with life. It might be a long road for me, it might not be..

2010-07-23T14:19:00.004+08:00

Grandma very easily hungry nowadays, so adorable.
Her routine is like this:
Morning, she eat either bread/biscuit in the morning with coffee/milo.
Afternoon about 12pm or later, she eat rice.
Nowadays, she is asking for rice at about 2pm or later.
Night about 6pm or later she usually won't ask but sometimes will ask for rice.
Isn't that good? Cute Grandma!

I'm super full now.
I still feel like eating one more Chicken pie! Food temptation!
I'm having stomach ache yet I still can eat non-stop!

2010-07-22T16:23:00.010+08:00

I cannot imagine if I'm in Grandma's position.
She can't put her leg down every single second.
I didn't realise it has been about a year and 2 months Grandma lie on the bed.
Brother, Sri and I brought Grandma down to a.. I think Masseur.
I don't quite understand what she said, as her Chinese is profound.
I thought a lot after what she said, she seems to hint not much help they can do.
I don't want to hear all these and seriously, I don't think they are professional. No offence.
I don't know where to find good physiologist and acupuncture.
I really wish I can sacrifice a little bit for Grandma in return for her to walk like the past.
But one of the Masseur did say that Grandma doesn't look like 80s, she look younger.
She also said, Grandma is quite healthy. Of course. Recently, she don't need to eat diabetes medicine anymore.

Although I had some negative thoughts but Grandma cheered me up.
She said 'You stupid', it felt funny and it also made her laughed.
Can't remember what else she said.

I love Grandma.

2010-07-19T01:04:00.006+08:00

SO FAST THAT IT'S BACK TO MONDAY!!!

I shall post up some photos for Dog lovers..
Even though I'm scared of Dogs but I do find some of them cute.

Ok, I'm biased. I like the other one more. But most of the pictures were not taken by me ok!

I don't think I'll be able to sleep by 2am. Hopefully, I can sleep by 3am!

2010-07-16T18:47:00.005+08:00

Couldn't remember when did Sharon treated me to Xin Wang Cafe.
Jonathan paid some amount, Sharon paid most of the amount.
Thanks a lot guys! Especially Sharon!
I still remember you said you treat me as your small sister but luckily I'm not your real small sister.
If not you're going to be like my real blood Sister.
I'm glad to be your friend and like your small sister. He he.

Some photos of the food.

Too much good food almost everyday, must control!!

Finally it's a Saturday tomorrow!

A good rest for 2 days but it's very short.

Grandma was telling me things and I got so worried. It's not the first time she's telling me.

Hope everything will be fine, hope God will watch over Grandma.

It's really ok if... As long as not..

Yes, only God knows.

Very grateful.

2010-07-15T18:19:00.015+08:00

Some people are just so realistic!

Never mind.

As long as '' don't ill-treat my Grandma, everything is fine as long as it make sense.
Can't reveal much about it..
I've not much to say, my memory is bad. So sorry.

Oh yes, many things happened few days ago.
I, Ong Jiale sincerely hope God will bless my family and not one problem after another'
I'm tired... But if I've to face it, it's alright, it's fated. However, it isn't fair for all of us, is it...?
Anyway, if '' is trying to scare Grandma or what, come scare me, target me, ok.

First time trying Youcam to take photos with Grandma, thanks Youcam!!!
It's much more easier using Youcam to take photos with Grandma!!! He he he!

Pictures with Grandma! ^-^

Another day:

I was asking her to make a pout face and it was so hard to capture it! Ha ha! Focus on my cute Grandma!!

She was trying to make expressions! ^-^

Cheesexze~~!

Another day:

Today:
When Grandma sits too long, she will have this kind of expression... ):

But I insist to take photos with her first...

It's hard to take photos with Grandma.

I kept posing the same pose as I was waiting for her smile.

While pressing the 'Snapshot' button, while saying 'Grandma! Smile! Ha ha, Laugh'!
As she always ask me 'How to smile? Ha ha? Laugh'?

Ha ha ha, isn't she adorable, finally know how to smile during photos taking but I must capture it at the precise moment!!
It's hard.. Ha ha.

2010-07-12T21:50:00.003+08:00

I find that Humans are easily affected by each other.
I ran towards my house's nearby bus stop this morning and I saw a girl running after me.
Likewise, when I was running to school's gate, majority of my schoolmates start to run after me and some ran before me.
I was fucking distracted by Maid, I'm typing her as Maid cause I'm furious of the way she answered me, what a rude person she is.
She showed me black face which she shouldn't show me at all.
I'm just telling her not to pinch Grandma anymore and she has to complain to her 'boyfriend'. It's just small matter. Oh yes, she's still young, not any bigger.
If it's not for I scare she bully Grandma, I won't tolerate her fucking attitude but I've to.
THE FUCKING HELL THING IS THAT SHE DARE TO TALK LOUDLY TO MY GRANDMA! FUCK!
I hope she treat Grandma nice, don't need to be very nice but can't be bad at all. Can't she just do it?
I do not want to scold or give Maid black face but she has to push me this way.
I don't like to scold her either..
Well, I shall not type about this anymore.
God bless Grandma. I know He will help me... *frown*
A :) still!!!

2010-07-02T01:53:00.006+08:00

I want mahjiong sessions for long hours when everyone is so free!!

For the first time, I noticed Mum and Dad laughed at the same time.
As I told them Grandma asked Dad to visit the Doctor.
I told Grandma that Dad's leg is in pain. Dad told me when One is old it's like that.
My Mum and Dad laughed because Grandma always suggest people to visit the Doctor.
I just heard from Mum about an hour ago that Grandma can't sit down and her leg cannot put down straight is most probably because..
The China's (Hainan Dao) Doctor injected Grandma's legs, that's why.
If in Singapore, Singapore's Doctors WON'T INJECT as I think it's illegal?
I felt.. indescribable feelings. If Grandma knows how to tolerate pain, she won't have go to hospital and she might not be like this.

I believe she won't be like this lying on the bed now. Is all this fated?
If it is fated, can she be fated to sit down on her own and walk soon?
At least let Grandma walk with a walking stick, I'm happy, Grandma is happy, Everyone is happy.
This is my one and only wish, I don't ask for anymore. I don't dare to either.

May God Bless Grandma! I love her so much... I always do. Forever.

2010-06-27T06:02:00.005+08:00

I miss the starry sky at Grandpa's Hainan Dao house's rooftop!
I miss drinking there with the starry sky!
There's always another time, the 5th time.
By then, I might still miss it or it might mean nothing to me already.
But for me, Grandpa's Hainan Dao house always mean something. It's special cause it's bought by Grandpa.
Everything there has Grandpa inside. Grandpa hard earned money to buy that house and kept building it to four storey.

Having Grandma by my side is bliss, like Grandpa is here too! :)))
我很幸福！！！:D
Mum asked me if I feel bliss in this family.
I smiled and replied her after a few minutes 'Not bad because Mum very dote on me, Sis quite dote on me although her attitude not good sometimes, also, I've Grandma by my side, I feel bliss'.
Actually I wanted to say 'This family is great already'.
Mum did say about Dad, she said 'You can just ignore Dad'.
She also said 'It's fate we're in a family'.
As my Dad seldom care about us and is afraid to pay money for our things, no matter school fees, school books, all things regarding school, my doctor's fees, even my pocket money sometimes.
He will nag how much he has given for this family while my Mum has given a lot more than he does.
I really shall not think too much, it'll only make me headache.
I've such a great Mum, I'll treasure her forever and hope she is happy everyday! ♥♥♥
I felt happy to see and hear Grandma said 'What're you doing' with a cute expression and she said 'I feel very full already' as I gave her drink a product.
I asked her to sleep, she replied 'WA, I slept for so long, anytime I can sleep, enough already'.
Then I laughed and kissed her. Hehehe. I shall go and see if she is asleep.

2010-06-25T01:33:00.007+08:00

I always feel so bliss with Grandma by my side.
Suddenly, I feel like I want a friend by my side but I'm too sleepy.
Suyin cannot stay until tomorrow, only can stay till mid-night.
Lily can stay till tomorrow but it's too dangerous for a girl to go out at this time.
I've great friends around, isn't it?
I'm super power, I can sleep at 2 + in the afternoon yesterday when I'm supposed to sleep the day before.
The most power thing is that I'm still thinking about Mac'Donalds when I'm super full right now.

Had Magnum Almond just now, tried Magnum Gold few days ago.
Magnum Almond is still the best!

I shall take a bath and take a nap. I don't think it'll be a nap but I really need someone by my side.

Well, never mind.

2010-06-22T02:15:00.009+08:00

Initially, I didn't notice the similarity in them.
Until the first episode of 'Boys over flower' showed on TV.
My Sis said 'Don't you think the leader look like Jerry Yan'?
I answered 'Which one? No'.
When time goes by, I noticed the similarity.
Didn't know majority also think they look alike.
I was thinking if Korea's director purposely find a person who look so much like Jerry Yan or is it just pure coincidence.
Once when Lee Min Ho came to Singapore, the host/repoter asked him.. If I'm not wrong..
'Do you know who is Jerry Yan? Do you think you all look alike? Many people think you all look alike.'
He answered 'Yes, I look forward to cooperate with him if possible'.

Something is very wrong with my memory.
I THINK my Mum didn't told me which NTUC Fairprice to search for her yet 2 times I told Brother the other way round.
How come it just don't happen the way I said???
It's either Bedok Ntuc which is near my place or Bedok Interchange 24 hours Ntuc.
Made brother walked all the way to Bedok Ntuc twice and made Brother cycled half way to Bedok Interchange.
Very apologetic about that! :/

Can't wait for Ktv with Darling!
Can't wait for later on gathering with Clique!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JONATHAN!

I had fun, especially when I eat and with Grandma and friends by my side.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Can't wait for taking out stitches!
Can't wait for Family reunion on Grandma's birthday!!!

Few days ago, Grandma, Mum, Brother, Sri and I went to the Market.
Long time didn't went there! Looking at all those fish and meat. Those bloods.
Love looking at organic vegetables and fruits! Super crowded. Great business.
But the Uncle selling organic vegetables eyesight is not good, I'm worried for him that some people might cheat his money..
Once he gave my Mum too much change, my Mum told him to take note.
Moreover, I realised there is Malay selling fish and meat in the Market too.
Anyway, hope Shiela's leg is not abscess. Let's see what the Doctor says tomorrow.
:)

Don't think too much my dear.
See, I'm fine too. Just that it hurts during the process.
'No pain, No gain.' That's what people always tell me.
:)))

2010-06-20T22:24:00.009+08:00

Neenee's Great Grandma! Miss her super much!!

Neenee, My beloved Niece. Miss her super much too! See her sweet smile :)))

Super cold in one of the places. Specially visited that place. A very high mountain place. Natural.

I don't know how Suyin can tolerate it only wearing shorts.

I'm the type of person who need a Doctor to confirm there's nothing wrong with my surgery's spot then I'm relieved.

It was really great to visit the Doctor but money flies away again. $38!
At first I blamed here and there, blamed Mum. I shouldn't.
Life's like this. In a while, parents will just say the things you don't like when you're sad.

It's alright, forgive and forget. Maybe not that easy to forget.

Since my memory not that good, I think it's possible to forget :)))

I miss Hainan Dao's weather during Nov - Dec. Jan also very cold.

Sadly, I can't go there as I don't have the cash and Jan got school. Also, Grandma is at my house.

Anyway, I bumped into a Cute Uncle at the Clinic. Aww..
I helped him to get up of his seat. Just a helping hand and he said 'You're so kind. God bless you'.

I ♥ it how he said 'Byebye' and waved to me when he saw me leaving the Clinic.

He made me smile. I miss him!! He's so adorable.

Aww.. I ♥ Old folks, especially friendly and cute Old folks.

Their smiles made me forget my troubles. Hehehe.

I hope to see them around more often.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2010-06-20T04:14:00.007+08:00

Grandma is always and forever adorable to me! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Yesterday I'd a long sleep, I woke up in the afternoon 3pm ++.
Straightaway, I walked to Grandma's room.
Brother told me she kept calling for me from morning.
She's not a sweet person but she was so sweet to me.
She asked me if the surgery's spot still hurts. I told her a little and she told me stories of hers.
Most of her words, I don't understand as I'm not really good in Hainanese. I HATE IT!!!
I really need to buck up my Hainanese. How great if Grandma knows how to speak Chinese.
I hope my Hainanese will improve if I learn bit by bit everyday!!!
Grandma lies on bed, it's very torture for her and for anyone to lie on bed everyday and only once awhile can get her to the wheelchair.
I'm glad for Mum suggested Grandma to move back, she slept on the bed for half a year at Ang Mo Kio and not more than 10 times she was carried to the wheelchair.
Only when we helped her bath, then can carry her to the wheelchair for few minutes.
Maybe some people think it's a nuisance/unlucky to take care of Old folks.
But for Mum and I, is our fortune! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I love seeing Grandma everyday and it's better for me, I don't need to take an hour bus back and forth to Ang Mo Kio.
Sigh... It's sad when Grandma said when she wants to find me, she can't as she can't walk but I can go find her.
As she was calling for my name from morning until I woke up in the afternoon.
I sincerely hope Grandma can sit up and at least can walk a little bit and I'll be really grateful.
I will sacrifice my time just to accompany Grandma every single day and I said it, I can sacrifice anything except for the worst thing I'm scared of, God knows.
I also know I'm scared of pain but for Grandma.. It is ok. I'll just cry awhile or something.
Seeing her is the best, having Grandma is so great.
Thinking back last time I wasn't close to her, didn't really spoke to each other.
As she can walk last time, can sit last time and only need to rely on Grandpa.
When I visited Grandma and Grandpa, she only spoke to Aunts, Uncle and My Mum.
Maybe she spoke to we all, grandchildren but I've no memories about that.
I told Grandma about this but I don't think she understand, if she understand, GREAT! :D
Whenever someone asked me about my surgery, I can remember the process.
Didn't know it'll hurts so much. Whenever I clean the surgery's spot, I feel a little scared actually.
As it's the first time in my life I've stitches in my skin.
I also told Grandma if I know Hainanese, I can talk to her many things as I got many things to tell her.
I also said, if Grandma know Chinese also good.
And that those who know Hainanese don't really talk to her.
What is with people? Why is it like this?
She laughed anyway. HEHEHE! ^-^
Grandma asked me about 2 hours ago how old am I. I told her 15. Not sure if she understand.
I think she replied '30++'? So I repeated '15' again. Think she understand. I don't look like 30! HAHA.
She asked me or told me many things when she woke up in the middle of the mid-night but I couldn't answer her and I could only say I don't understand what you're saying, Ahpo.

Anyway, I want to exercise! But I couldn't because of my surgery.
I feel so fat. As always.
But I still need to eat, I still need to keep eating. HAHAHA.
Always using medicine as a excuse but it's the fact.
Alright, I need to go bathe now, apply cream and put plaster.
SO WARM!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like saying F.

I LOVE GRANDMA!!!!!!!!!!
You know how much I love her.
Like you can never imagine.

2010-06-19T01:42:00.011+08:00

14 June, steamboat with Clique.

17 June, met Liyin for lunch.

I feel that I've run out of clothes, seriously.

But it doesn't matter. Just don't get sick of me wearing the same clothes. HAHA.
I don't want to waste money on clothes until a special event comes up or when I work.
See you soon Liyin!!

18 June, met Sharon, Shiela, Khai, Weikiat and Suyin.

Took photos with Sharon's new camera!

19 June, met Darling for late lunch and movie.
I met her at a late time as I was having headache. Sorry about it, my dear!
I love Cineleisure's theatre, luckily I went there once. So I know how comfortable the seats are. I love the seat. It was my second time going to the theatre
See you soon for 'The blood pledge'!!

I don't have much cash with me now, I can't make it to movie with Racy tomorrow.
I miss her so much yet I don't have money! Need to wait for school reopen.
School reopen, it'll be hard to meet my friends. Shall be patient and wait till MAJOR EXAMS OVER!

There's so much to complain.
But I'm lucky already.
There's money to pay for all the fees like operation, medicine and cream.
First time, medicine: $48
Second time, operation + medicine: $185
Third time, cream and another bottle of liquid to apply: $42
Fourth time, will be the day to get the stitch out! Not sure how much it'll cost.
I hope it's affordable and not too expensive.
So far, altogether: $275

Sigh.... I should have removed it earlier.
First time I had this Cyst, I didn't care about it. It wasn't pain, like just something small swollen there.
The second time, it grew bigger. I can feel the difference. It still wasn't pain, I think.
Couldn't remember. I went to see a Doctor. He told me that it need to be removed.
I didn't want to, I was scared. Hence, I didn't get it excised.
The third time, it grew bigger and I can feel the pain.
Went to see a Doctor and the Doctor said cannot immediately operate because the Cyst infection.
Collected the medicine and go back in a week, which was few days ago.
Didn't expect it to be so fucking pain!
I'm still feeling weak, pain, headache and hot every now and then.
I want to meet Racy later on yet I don't have the cash. Going out, relaxing is surely better.
Anyway, I must find time to catch 'Twilight, New moon, Toy story, Toy story 2'!

2 more days. Hope my right arm will not be pain by then. Hope my left arm recover from sprained by then.

Thanks Yaling for accompaying me to the Clinic and to the Dental. Appreciate it.
Sorry for sleeping and letting you be alone as I was feeling terrible headache.
Thanks for the understanding!

One thing I don't understand is when I asked the Doctor if I cannot eat any food,
He answered 'Any food can eat' but in mumbling, soft and quick voice.

But when I asked the Nurse.. She answered 'Better don't eat Seafood and fried food'.

As for the fried food, I didn't heard, Yaling heard.
Forgotten to ask her if I can eat Chilli. I don't know how to describe the Nurse and the Doctor.

Why the Doctor said can eat anything while the Nurse said better don't eat Seafood?
My Grandma said before 'Don't eat Prawn, Sotong etc'.

I told her 'Doctor didn't say'.

She answered 'Doctor don't care one'.

I don't know if it's the Doctor don't care or what. It's just super weird.

I shall just be caution. No idea why I'm feeling super warm!!!

Alright, time for me to get a good sleep! It's tiring to type so long.
Thanks for visiting my blog my blog my blog!

2010-06-17T22:17:00.003+08:00

I look forward to seeing Grandma being carried to the Wheelchair everyday's evening.
She said to me 'Don't keep caring about me, your arm is more important'.
I answered 'You're important, my hand is not important'.
Actually I wanted to say 'You're important than my hand, of course my hand is also important'.
I just don't know how to say in Hainanese...

Alright, hope tomorrow pass fast please!!!
Hope it's the cleaning of the bacteria and hope it won't cost over $50.
Hope it won't hurts so much like today.
Excising my Cyst already cost $185, which is far from what the Doctor said on my last visit, $100.
I don't understand why add $85.

I hope that Grandma's teeth will be perfectly fixed back tomorrow.
Will get it as soon as possible after I visit the Clinic.

2010-06-17T06:18:00.006+08:00

My heartfelt words

To err is human. Randomly, I recalled some things I said out without using my brain. I feel regretful, I feel bad. I asked myself if I was honest to everyone about everything. My answer was in percentage: 99%, 95% and unknown percentage. This's what I think of the percentage.

99% which means 1% dishonest is because I forgot about it so it's left unsaid. For the 95% which means 5% dishonest is either because I scare to hurt his/her pride or if I say out, those words will let him/herself feel ashamed of him/herself of what he/she did/said.

Also, the 5% could be A told me about B but I can't do it my own way and 'help' A to tell B what A was telling me about and should respect A.
(Even if I may prefer B more.)
I do feel bad keeping it for A and keeping it from B.
I know it may seems biased as I only will agree what A says if B is still not changing from I experienced and if it's the FACTS.
No matter if I agree with A or don't agree with A, it's still 5% dishonesty to B.

Another thing is that, if I was once 100% honest to a person, once that person changes, once he/she lost my respect, there won't be 100% anymore. It may drop to, 50%, lesser than that, maybe more than that, I really don't know how to calculate.
(I will still treat him/her as a friend, depending on how much he/she changes.)

But if anyone of you ask me something which won't hurt your pride, won't make you feel ashamed of yourself and won't let me 'help' people translate what he/she said about you, I'll consider telling you so but maybe after that we won't be friends if you hate me for telling you the facts and truths.
(Of course, I hope not. I hope honesty helps rather than harm.)

Last but not least, if you know or heard I said some things about you, please come and clarify with me.
NOT complaining about me behind my back when you don't even know the facts. It doesn't help. It will worsen.
I'll be honest of what I had said. I won't lie to others. I don't feel good doing that either.

Like what Sharon(a friend that has been with me for few years) said, not everything you can say out, I do agree too.

But for my point of view, I will say everything out except for the points I mentioned above.

2010-06-16T19:36:00.003+08:00

I was so pissed when my house Maid, Sri.
As I blogged before I don't want like calling Maid, Maid.
So I shall type by her name, Sri. 35 minutes ago, she was telling my Mum she wants to go down as her friend from Tampines came to Bedok.
If I'm not wrong, I think her friend is married to the Owner here. If not why would she have so much freedom?
I know some Maids have many freedom but not many of them.
My Mum let her go down as sometimes need to give her some freedom, Mum gave her 10 minutes.
As some Maids will keep hatred in heart and bully the person she is taking care of. It's true.
She went down 25 minutes. Never mind, we let her off this time. Gave her one chance.
Her friend intelligent, brought Sri to Coffee shop and treated us to Tea.
Well, my Mum was saying 'Not sure if they got add ingredients'.
I answered 'Don't think so much'.
Super intelligent of them. Very.
However, the tea taste quite nice.

My Grandma super adorable.
I told her 'The Maid clever, she went down find her friend for a very long time
(I address her as 'Maid' in front of Grandma as Grandma don't know how to pronounce 'Sri' and don't understand 'Sri' this name.)
She replied 'Let her go down lor'.
I replied 'NO, cannot let her go down so long, later she don't listen to us'.
She replied 'If she don't listen, sack her. She is here to take care of me'.
SO CLEVER AND ADORABLE OF MY CUTE GRANDMA.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

We're not bullies. So we didn't reprimand her for going out 25 minutes when Mum said 10 minutes.
But Mum told her not every time can go out for so long.
Let her happy awhile also good. She's also a human being.
Who likes to be Maid? Nobody has the choice. But if no Maid, who take care of the needy or the house?
When some people is to busy to clean the house and to take care of old folks/babies/anyone.

Also, I told Grandma to say to me: 我愛你。
She really said it. Super cute of her to say it in chinese. Made me so happy.
Hainanese 'I love you' is quite similar to Chinese 'I love you'. Only the 'I' and the 'You' pronunciation different.

2010-06-15T08:11:00.002+08:00

Met some of my friends almost every single day. It feels good! :)))
It's just bad for our health and my eye bag is getting thicker and blacker!!!
I would always sleep in the morning and wake up in the afternoon. This is super mad!!!
Because I'm always out at block down stair or at friend's house. And this becomes my routine.
Since it's the June holidays, it's quite alright.
BUT I've to get rid of this habit, I can't keep staying out late as school is going to reopen in 13 more days!
Sorry people who don't want to get reminded of school reopen.
Me myself I have to constantly remind myself that SCHOOL IS FUCKING REOPENING SOON.
My clique staying out till early in the morning don't work as 6 members. The most 4 people would stay.
It's always like that. Hope it'll be 6 people one fine day? If possible.
AWESOME OR NOT, I'm not sure.
Because I'm feeling deadbeat every single day.
And I've not done a single shit.
I've done half way meeting my beloved lost friends like Weiting and Liyin.
Haven't get the chance to meet Racy and gather with Shuyuan, Sixian etc as a group.
I got to be at home straight after school as Grandma is at my house now.
It's so hard for me but I got to try my best and I must do it. Grandma is too important to me.

However, I'm starting to like Soccer! ♥♥
It's weird how I feel irritated when I want that Country to win the match.

2010-06-09T12:27:00.004+08:00

Meeting up with Suyin and Weikiat last minute. I ♥ mid-night hanging out.
I ♥ honesty. I ♥ Grandma. I ♥ Family. I ♥ Friends. I ♥ Dramas. I ♥ Yellow.

Shiela came to my house not long ago to cook Fried rice and Macaroni.
Thanks a lot my dear!!!
I can learn to cook and cook for Sri(maid), Grandma, Father/Brother, Weikiat, Shiela and myself.
Going Ktv with them in about 1 hour' time. Hope Brother will reach home not too late.
While I was feeding Grandma just now, she was saying how terrible she is lying on bed.
I'm not in her shoes, I can't understand how she feel lying on the bed, but I know she must feel super super super terrible and upset.
All I can do is to go in the room often, talk to her, help her and kiss her.
I told her 'Don't think this way' but I know she can't stop thinking as she thinks that she is useless.
BUT SHE IS NOT. Sigh. Feel like crying when I type this sentence right now.
I'm really alright with it for anything I need to help her with, she has got me, My Mum, My Family and also my Relatives.
Seeing her eating so little feels really.. She ate not more than 10 spoon, big spoon.
Alright, shall go accompany her now.
God bless. ♥

2010-06-08T21:08:00.002+08:00

I feel so apologetic to Mum. Luckily she said 'It's alright'. I feel so much better.
:)))

So upset. Today cannot remove Cyst. Next week then can. $100!!! )= Sigh.
The medicine itself already cost $48. Because infection. I feel so stupid.
I should have remove it the first time I had it.
Alright, shouldn't think of it anymore if not it will do me no good.
I shall listen to Mum. Also, I shall be positive and happy.

I LOVE GRANDMA.

2010-06-08T14:34:00.002+08:00

My Dad is seriously not a caring person.
But what he showed me today was he cares.
He brought me to 2 clinic though it was closed for the afternoon.
We wasted our trip but he didn't complained which I'm grateful for that.
Thanks Liyin and Shiela for sending me good wishes, it means a lot to me.
:)))

2010-06-07T01:08:00.004+08:00

It breaks my heart to see Grandma in so much pain and feeling itchy but there's nothing much we can do.
She was blathering nonsense and negative thoughts again. It sucks so much to hear those words from her.
But I know she feels very miserable inside. Hope from today onwards, it'll get better for her.

Anyway, hope my lump will be excised by tomorrow!!! I'M.A.BRAVE.GIRL

Today was a fruitful day as Grandma is at my house, beside me.
Those words came from Grandma's mouth, made me so scared.
I hope she is happy moving to my house and hope she is happy every moment.
I hope she will get better each day as she seems to weaken a lot.
Pass it to me~

God bless.

Ktv session with Weiting and Lily! ♥♥

2010-06-06T05:36:00.003+08:00

Perhaps it's time for me to control my diet and it'll be quite easy from now onwards.. I guess.
Since I've left not much cash inside my white-yellow-brown wallet, it's white in colour when I first bought it if I'm not mistaken.
I don't even know if Dad will give me pocket money for lunch and dinner for the day before.
As I took my red packet given by Grandma, I want to put the money back.
Have been eating too much nowadays, even when I feel full, I still can squeeze food inside my mouth.
Alright, I was telling Weikiat I'll be sleeping at 4am and guess what, more than 50% of the housework is still not done.
I keep seeing Lizard/Gecko around.. Eww. I don't understand why. Or I wasn't observant in the past?
85 supper with Clique was great!!! ^-^ Finally saw Shiela and Sharon!
Accompanied Shiela walked home and cycled Sharon home, saw Brother and he was telling me Mum and Dad quarreled.
It's the 1 2 3 times or maybe even more than that, luckily I wasn't home.
But Dad was overboard for not keeping his promise and saying Grandma.. I don't know what?
I also don't want to hear if not I'll bear grudges.. for a long time.
I do not want to bear grudges towards Dad anymore, but since he wants to do it, so let it be.
I felt like a puppet... Just now, few hours ago, that short moment.
Never mind. Doesn't matter??? I think.

My lump is back. Is it because I don't have self-control? Must be!
The hatred is back towards some of my friends? Not really counted as 'hatred', sort of.
Feel so immature but I just couldn't control what I want to say and it's the facts.
I was happy seeing every single one of my friends, however.. Forget it. I'm just not happy.

I want to drink, seriously.
I won't as I'll have self-control.
I shall manage my emotion well. I'll try.
I want to shout it out loud and enjoy myself with Clique, soon?
Ktv sessions ♥ Never ending.

I wish, I hope..
Sufficient money for Ktv sessions, meeting up with some friends and Movie sessions.
Not to forget, Mahjiong sessions!!! ♥
I got to learn rollarblading soon.. I've many things I want to learn. I've not yet learn swimming! HAHAHAHAHA. It's hard for me. Tell me, is it so hard?!

What matters now is..
What matters now is..
What matters now is... YES!!
GRANDMA WILL BE MOVING BACK TO MY HOUSE IN ABOUT 5 - 6 hours time!!!!!!!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥
:))) My love, my priority, my forever, my precious, my darling, my grandma, my kpo!
Love her so much! YES! I'll be seeing her everyday from today onwards!!!
Hope June will pass not too fast and everyday will be a fruitful day!
God bless Grandma to be able to sit up by herself and stand by herself with her walking stick to support.

TOMORROW WILL GET BETTER.
:)

Believe.. in hopes.
I will.

It doesn't matter if I suffer a little bit. As long as Grandma is fine and as long as I can be there.
I just love her so much like noboby can imagine. Grandpa loved her so much too, right..

2010-06-04T22:02:00.003+08:00

Clicked on Xinyi's blog and saw Huimin's photos again.. I don't know what to say.
It feels really.. Indescribable.
Looked through Shiela's blog photos and some parts of her entries, I feel so unbearable.
So unbearable to leave this school, this class, this clique and those teachers in the coming 3 - 4 months.
3 - 4 months is very fast, it will pass very very very fast.
And my secondary school life will be gone, the moments with clique might be gone too.
Perhaps it's what I'm afraid of...
I feel so silly. Whatever.

I don't want to miss any chance to meet any of my friends.
So whenever I'm really free, I'll accept any friends' request to go out or take the initiative to ask them out.

2010-06-02T21:15:00.008+08:00

Oh! I didn't realised I've typed I'll blog everyday.
Seriously, I've nothing much to say on blog now.
Shall just say what is on my mind now!
I miss Sharon and Shiela suddenly. I miss Merlene! Kind of miss Weikiat too!
=)

These few days had been quite fruitful.
I super love ktv!

Anyway, saw a dead Lizard on my Dad's room wall. -goosebumps-
I'm still thinking of it almost everynow and then. Don't dare to look at it whenever I've to walk pass it.

Being with each and single of my friends, I feel so happy! :)))

I miss primary school friends' gathering.. ♥♥♥

I miss Family reunion.. ♥♥♥♥♥

2010 some of the pictures with dearest friends! ♥♥♥

Lunch after school with Clique! ♥♥

Music lesson, random photo taking of our Centre parting! ♥♥♥

Katong laksa with Lily! ♥

BBQ Session and swimming with Clique! ♥♥♥

Ktv with Lily! ♥♥

Trimmed eyebrown with Merlene Darling! ♥♥

Random photo taking in class! ♥

Ktv with dearest clique! ♥♥♥

Having fun taking pictures in library with Shiela and Suyin! ♥

Long John Silver's breakfast with Yaling, Suyin and Weikiat! ♥♥

2010-05-30T02:42:00.002+08:00

Since it has been quite a long time since I last blogged, I really don't know how to start.
Guess I should blog frequently from now onwards, hope I'll have something to say everyday.
I shall put up tagboard even if there's not much people tagging, doesn't matter.
Thinking of how Huimin used to tell me how much she likes to read my blog makes me happy :)
In the past, I used to have a lot of words to type. Today I've many random things I would like to blog.
Few days ago, randomly I thought to myself 'A small lizard will appear'.
And when I was going to unlock my bicycle, I saw a small lizard near me, I hurried up ran while pushing my bicycle and immediately sat on the bicycle's seat.
All pure coincidence...
Then randomly I thought to myself 'Later faeces will drop in front of me or something'.
I'm weird. Having these weird thoughts. Luckily this 'faeces' thing didn't happened.
1 more day there will be Oral exam. Not sure if it's mid-year or prelim.
I know I won't be doing well, will just give in my best shot.
What matters now is Grandma will be moving back to my house very soon!!! ^-^
I'll be able to see Grandma everyday when I wake up and I can accompany her, so she won't feel lonely or bored anymore.
Was really quite upset but controlled myself not to tear for I didn't have the chance to see Linda Chung at a Starhub event.
It's just silly but I really didn't expect Linda Chung will come to Singapore one fine day which was on the Friday, 28 May.
If there's next time, hope I'll be one of the lucky ones or if need to use money to get her ticket, must depends how much it is.
It's normal to like celebrity as some of my friends said 'You're mad'.
Because they don't admire Linda Chung, they can't feel how much I like her.
I remembered how I used to like Wuzhun, I teared as I missed seeing him in real life.
Thinking back, I was really silly. Hahaha.
Coincidentally, people over the Internet are comparing Linda Chung and Wuzhun similarities.
Seriously, I don't think there's any similarities. Perhaps to some others there is.
At least there is videos of Linda Chung at the Starhub event.
She also knows that people says she looks like Wuzhun, she said that Wuzhun is handsome.
Which I don't really think so anymore. Well, my admire for Male celebrities doesn't last long.
Anyway, on the Friday, which was 2 days ago, I was thinking about some disappointing friends.
Now, right now, I feel that I can't expect much from them.
And it's true how when you expect something, it just doesn't go your way.
When Huimin passed away, I thought family could help, but they couldn't.
I thought friends couldn't, but they can. Especially some people who really helped me a lot.
In a blink of an eye, everything changes in a person, I mean some things which I feel like typing but I don't think it's convenient to type here.
Many people only realise must treasure people around us now before it's too late.
This's what they say, but who really actually treasure people around them?
Alright, it seems like I still bother over those disappointing friends.
Damn, I really shouldn't expect much from them. Not any one in my clique. They are great.
My Sis thinks that I'm very silly/boliao as I told her I want to keep in contact with my friends till we reach a very old age/forever.
Seriously, any one of you out there who are my friends, I sincerely hope I can last with you all.
But if you don't have the heart to, there's nothing I can do.
I can't keep pestering you right? Even though some of my friends have promised me that they will keep in contact with me but promises can be broken.
So I won't expect much. Of course, I wish they will keep their promise.
There's many things I still want to say, I guess.
My brain isn't really working now. As in, I just easily forget things and it's very easily.
What I said the day before, I can just totally forget every single thing.
Many things I can't remember. No idea why.

Time for me to get myself a cold cup of water. Kind of thirsty!

2010-05-03T22:32:00.004+08:00

25 november 1994 - 30 April 2010

All the happy moments with Huimin.

I hope she is happy somewhere.. Like what Weikat said, meeting great people.

Hope she is doing fine..

It's shocking, it's unbelievable, it feels unreal, it sucks, it feels like a dream.

My brain feels really empty, seriously.
I don't know who is really here, who is really there.

It still strike me hard, it's a big bad news for me.

I sucks, I haven't get over it, I still can't get over it, I don't know how long it'll take. I really don't know.

3 more days there's math exam, yet I haven't started anything. I can't study. I still can't.
I feel mentally exhausted, mentally stressed. I regretted not asking Huimin out often.

I regretted not going for her cooking course at some place. I regretted many things.

I can't remember for now, but the past can't rewind.

Whatever I see, I hear is the fact, nobody can change.

How much I was hoping for something, I told Shiela 'Maybe later she will suddenly just wake up like how your Granny's friend's friend did'.

I had many unpleasant memories with Huimin, I also had many happy memories with her.

Not to mention the unpleasant memories, I believe each and everyone have unpleasant memories with each other as long as it ends up good and we forgive and try to forget.
It's also not a problem, just that there'll be memories and scars there.

I'm glad for the video taken, the special memories like in Malacca. Many else more.

We nearly met up, we nearly met, but we didn't. It has been like half a year or more than that I last saw you. Shit it.

You had something for me, YET I can't have it, I can't have the last things you want to give me.

Like what I read from Xinyi's blog, I've many doubts, many questions about the real fact.

But it seems like I'll never know, even if I know, there's nothing I can do, is there?

I've heard many rumours, but rumours cannot be trusted. Nobody should trust rumours.

Many people said Huimin wouldn't want to see me and some of us like this, but I couldn't help it.
I can't bring myself to study, also, Jason has said she wouldn't want me to do badly for my MYE because of her.

But.. I just can't do it. I can't get over it. I CAN'T. I sucks.

Why must this happen to us at this time? Why must this even happened?

Is it really pretestined? WHY! Why torture her parents, her sibling, her cousins, her relatives, her friends, we?

She's still so young, she's still 15. Damn.

I seriously want to see you in person, the real human but I won't have the chance anymore. No more.

I

All the comments left by Huimin to me.......... friendster.

♥ HuiMinAug 1 2007, 12:57 PM
ooh ok...hahas lols..take care

♥ HuiMinAug 3 2007, 07:27 AM
orrhh....ok..hahahs..take care

♥ HuiMinMar 28 2008, 08:57 AM
hahahhsu fat fat piggy !!! :)lolstakkairesc ya in sch

JialeMay 30 2008, 10:10 AM
kind of you to view me without leaving comment worsxzs.HAHA. xiao mango? -.-anyway, how come change number, again?

♥ HuiMinMay 2 2008, 02:20 PM
VIEWED N COMMENT-EDgud luck for ur exam luh .all e best to u .study hard n dun get too stress . hehes ^^takkaires( xiao mango )

JialeMay 3 2008, 10:12 AM
oh, thanks darling.you too. take care.:)

♥ HuiMin HuiMin">June 3 2008, 04:20 PM
hhahahahhs .i was quite bored so i viewed ur profile becox i wanna view ur blog .but in e end u didn't wrote up ur blog address .MAYB ur blog TOO NICE TO WRITE LE !!!!WAHAHAHAHHAAHAHS .hhahaahahaahhas .hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ,yupps yupps , xiao mango roxs !!!!!lols . na la ! ERM , some of my frenx called me mango .so i decided to change it to xiao mango . ROFL .=.= hohohos . yuppsa . i lost my ph again .i left it at e toilet again . hehehehs careless de me !!takkaries .

JialeJun 4 2008, 06:36 AM
haha.your explanation's indeed long.i got put my blog url larh,you never take a look carefully i suppose?

♥ HuiMinJun 6 2008, 04:41 PM
hhahahahahs . yupps yupps sowie . i didn't saw it wos .now i SAW it ler !!huh ?????wat thing ?? u suppose ??

♥ HuiMinJun 6 2008, 05:48 PM
hhahahahahhas .yupppps .hmmmmmmm. i not sure i going wif my fren anot wos .huh ??? " FUCKER " ??? HU IS E FUCKER ???takkaries

JialeJun 7 2008, 03:22 PM
ivan's the FUCKER.walao, you good hor.go out with xinyi never inform me.sad larh.):anyway, its bbq or chalet? zz.

JialeJun 6 2008, 05:32 PM
good you saw it then (:so did you visit my blog?anyway, so delighted to see you just now.i want to go weikiat's bbq with you lorh.but you with your friends,so i guess i'm not going since maybe shuyuan can't make it?and i don't wish to see fucker. haha.

♥ HuiMinJun 8 2008, 05:08 PM
hahhahs .ps narhs .u nv ask me .hmmmmmtakkaries

♥ HuiMinAug 3 2008, 03:34 PM
chocolate oreo milk tea . ROX !!!!

Jiale">JialeAug 5 2008, 04:44 PM
yeah, WE DO ROCKS. ! xDDbut... think of a nicer name for weikiat lah -.-"sounds weird, yours abit too.my name the best, CHOCOLATE ROCKS LAH.nono , should be JIALE ROCKS LAH . :)

♥ HuiMinAug 6 2008, 03:17 PM
hmmmmm .hahasa . orh okies .den wat should we call him luh .let me thk !!!!=D .nonono . is mango n huimin rox .hhehestakkaries , wif loves ♥

♥ HuiMinAug 11 2008, 06:20 AM
yeyeyeyeyes .but a little catch no baLL .hahhahas . yupps . huimin rox !!!!!!!!!!hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm , i thk hao liao den tell u ok .takkaries . mushroom

JialeAug 11 2008, 05:17 AM
NO LOR.you said chocolate, oreo, milk tea rocks.where got mango, huimin rocks? where got?!?!I position the first so i rocks more than you and weikiat dude. like duh=Dheh, so've you think what to call weikiat? LOL.love you too, horny b!tch.

♥ HuiMinAug 13 2008, 07:11 AM
ok ok !!!!hahahs . mushroom head .hehehs . wat naughty 38??ttakkries

♥ HuiMinAug 13 2008, 01:44 PM
hmmmmmm , hahas . it's u lorr .mushroom head . dosen't sound cute . it's sound funny . wakakaks . ermm . dunno leh . i will change it de luh . lols . orh okies . c ya in sch . + lazy pig !!

JialeAug 13 2008, 09:00 AM
finally OK. hahaha.what mushroom head? where got? WHO?!?! erm , you ?:)HAHA, must be you. mushroom head sounds cute -.-"LOL LA, you 38 mushroom head lo.why still never change your shoutout?. didn't leave you alone at all and you seems to be happy with . what. haha.you should get me? LAUGHS.don't always say take care lah.XDdon't need for that. lame you. hoho.

JialeAug 14 2008, 08:26 AM
you said mushroom sounds funny not cute.then you still call me mushroom -.-"DAMN YOU UH, 38.I where got lazy.. 'someone' seems to be more lazy-er than me 'hor'?:)

My replied: I mean my name position the first, as you mentioned.so i rocks more.:)hahahaha. what mushroom uh? naughty 38.you horny bitch who catch a little balls-.-"LOLLOL,!

♥ HuiMinAug 15 2008, 03:25 PM
wakakkakas . happy birthday mushroom head !!!!have fun n wish ur dream cum true .wat 38 . u den 38 mushroom . ewwww !!!! where got . u more lazy hao bu hao .

JialeAug 15 2008, 04:32 PM what mushroom, again?!!thanks for the wishes btw, horny!=)eh, i where got lazy?it seems that 'someone' loves to sleep more than me, always sleepy when i see you in school and loves to pon school more than me 'hor'.jiale's the guai-est lah, always so guai hor:D

♥ HuiMinAug 16 2008, 04:56 PM
yea yea !!mushroom again . bleah !!! no lorr . u more lazy . u skip sch more den me hor . but dun count last year de la . i neo last year i pon class more den u . but now dun have le hor . wakakakkas . lazy de jiale

JialeAug 17 2008, 08:23 AM confirm or not.i don't think i pon school more than you eh.should be either equal equal or you more lah.

♥ HuiMinAug 26 2008, 03:00 PM
loves to eat chocolate chocolate . when u going to sch .lalalalas .HAHAHAHAH . cya cya

♥ HuiMinAug 27 2008, 03:08 PM
nonono . i can eat u yea . yummy yummy !!!

JialeAug 27 2008, 11:23 AM
LOL LOL. no no.you can't eat me darling.(:

JialeAug 28 2008, 10:01 AM
YOU PERVVVV.! haha.well, you still bear grudges towards your cat arh.

♥ HuiMinSep 1 2008, 05:05 PM
wakakas . i treat my cat damn gd de .

JialeSep 2 2008, 05:32 AM
FOR SURE OR NOT.perhaps you torture him without us knowing.ONLY GOD AND HELL WHO KNOWS. hahaha.

JialeSep 3 2008, 06:00 PM
HELLO BESTIE(:you know what or not!i miss you so so so so so much.from last thursday you didn't attend school...till now, it's been 7 days since i last saw you, that means 1 week leh. i can only see you after 11 days man, make sure you attend school ah sayang. heh.see ya when school reopen yo. xD

♥ HuiMinSep 4 2008, 08:06 AM
reali narhs .hahahs . i will treat my cat damn gud . lols . orh okeis . huh ??? got so long meh . i didn't neo it . okok , i will go de narhs . takkaries

JialeSep 4 2008, 01:20 PM i so wuxim write comment for you.but you never say 'i miss you too'.hahahaha. i yesterday miss you, now don't already.wakakaka, my mood're like the weather. bobian.:)ok, craps. get to the point, you got touch your books or not?and did you left any books in the classroom?I BET YOU DID RIGHT! HOLY SHIT! what if the cleaner auntie or abraham throw away, CONFIRM PLUS CHOP DE LAHHH.

JialeOct 7 2008, 08:49 AM darling darling.can't wait to go ice skating with you worsxz. ^^

♥ HuiMinOct 10 2008, 02:00 P
M baby , help my check ice skating is about how much can ?c ya

JialeOct 12 2008, 05:54 AM
your primary photo look retarded worsxzs! xD-laughs, i think if 4 people go in a group cheaper.4 people $60 for 2 hours. no charge for overtime and no charge for skates rental.viewer count as per individual.for student, (holding student pass)$11.80 for 2 hours.overtime charge, $4.30 per hour.skates rental, $3.30 per pair.viewer, $3.30 entry.if we count by individual, we need around..$22.70but.. for 4 person entry.only @ 60 (:its cheap.btw, we need to bring glove on our own.if not, buy from there around $2.and wear jeans there. noted?

♥ HuiMinOct 12 2008, 03:49 PM
YEA . RETARDED . hmmmm , alright !!so about how much i needed to bring luh. u set e date how ma ???c ya

JialeOct 12 2008, 06:26 PM
hmm, i don't know if i can set the date now leh.cause.. weikiat, suyin and shiela still haven't confirm if they going.i think you needa bring around $30?should be more than enough. :)

♥ HuiMinOct 14 2008, 03:36 AM
hahahhahas . orh okies . hmmmmmm , den u go ask them 1st norh . but wei kiat free to go de ma ???if he cannot go den ask xinyi go hao bu hao ????

JialeOct 14 2008, 08:26 AM
yah, okay with it.haa! weikiat? always like that, last minute don't want derh.suyin and shiela still not confirm.but you need to give me sometime to save money my dear (:

♥ HuiMinOct 16 2008, 03:54 PM
hahahs . baby . i also nid to save money 1st .lols. he ar ?? hope he will go luh .=Dso now is shiela n su yin still not comform yet rite ??if both of them didn't go , den we call xin yi gokays ??

JialeOct 16 2008, 06:10 PM
why not around far end november we go or december? :)weikiat said he confirm going already, guess cause of the fight we'd.thus he want to prove to me he change i supposed.yep, i'm really okay with xinyi going.go ahead and call her. ^^would you mind if marlissa tag along, perhaps rini too? the more the merrier?

JialeOct 20 2008, 11:37 AM
that's great. LOL, if you want to keep something low profile, guess its quite difficult too.see your latest comment! HAHAHA.would you mind if lily and her peers tag along?-evil grins. i know i'm calling more and more people -__-

JialeOct 25 2008, 06:33 PM
OMG! i miss you man.

JialeOct 25 2008, 06:38 PM
but i find you funny. your birthday coming.your birthday coming! uh oh. (like as if uh)

♥ HuiMinOct 26 2008, 03:28 AM
lols. u become damn hyper narhs .hahhahs , takkaries

♥ HuiMinOct 27 2008, 01:50 PM
o.O ya . baby . wat if i can't save enough fer e ice-skating how ??ask hu to loan me 1st luh ???takkaries . miss u lahh .=P

JialeOct 27 2008, 03:14 PM i also not sure leh. =/me, myself are tight in cash too -__-

JialeNov 12 2008, 08:03 AM heyo :)thanks alot for the strawberry boster! MUACKs!

♥ HuiMinNov 13 2008, 02:03 AM
hahahs , u r welcome luh

JialeDec 3 2008, 07:45 PM
I ROCK YOU, ASS!And I still rock your ass (:mwhahahahahahaha.in fact, actually, instead..i'm CHOCOLATE (:nooooo, that's not the point.you see.---------------------------THOUGH I'm terribly afraid of cats, but I want to tell you something.YOUR CAT IS SO CUTE PLEASE!Still, I don't dare to touch him :DHehehehehe. (: See you when school reopen darling.I so don't want it, fucking few more weeks to enjoy!!

♥ HuiMinDec 4 2008, 02:11 AM
hehehehsreali veri cute ar . den nex tim e i bring it to ur house luhhahahs , jkjkbut he is quite naughty de luhtouch him also cannot . onlineo how to play play play . wahahahahahahahahhsmiss u darling !! ^^

JialeDec 9 2008, 05:31 PM
muacks to you!I me myself miss you too (:Chocolate here & so you know.SEE YOU THIS WED!

♥ HuiMinJan 4 2009, 10:22 AM
darling , thx luhhelp me edit e pic .c ya in sch soon =)

JialeJan 4 2009, 02:11 PM
REAL SOON MAN, JUST TOMORROW!!haha, welcome darling!! :)

JialeJan 12 2009, 02:32 PM
NUN.edit your photo next time ok.feeling really sleepy now.cya sleepyhead. ;)

♥ HuiMinJan 15 2009, 02:06 AM
hao derhs .hao derhs .mushroom head !!!!!!takkaries

JialeJan 15 2009, 08:57 AM
OI. no more mushroom head!!i've side fringe now, no more BANGS!HAHAHAHAHA.you freaking nun. ;)so... still need me help you edit photo or xinyi helping you?

♥ HuiMinJan 15 2009, 01:35 PM
but still look lik mushroom head !!!!haaaaaaaa . mushroom head .nun good wat . can eat mushroom .hmmmm, xy will be helpin me to edit!!!thx btw

JialeJan 16 2009, 05:37 AM WHATTTTT!no lah, really meh, you anyhow.so what, I run away don't let you eat!!;P

♥ HuiMinJan 16 2009, 06:13 AM
haaaaa. mushroom run slow den nun . n i dun thk tat mushroom hav leg luh=D

JialeJan 17 2009, 02:58 AM okok la, you win ._.OMG, we're so lame.

♥ HuiMinJan 19 2009, 03:31 AM ya lorr !!we so childish .

JialeJan 19 2009, 07:23 AM & so horny!!;)

♥ HuiMinAug 13 2007, 08:36 AM
oorhhh..okie...tc

♥ HuiMinAug 21 2007, 02:50 AM
hahas..very sianx sia..alway go..i really dun wan to see e stupid D-M...take care

♥ HuiMinOct 7 2007, 07:39 AM
All the best fer EOY! :D

♥ HuiMin Nov 5 2007, 03:49 AM
GOT MEH!!!DUN HAV LA...HAHAS..HOW'S UR RESULT??OK???TAKE CARE N MISSES...

♥ HuiMinNov 6 2007, 02:32 AM my com can use liao ma!!hehes...take care

♥ HuiMinNov 7 2007, 02:47 AM u write mcg to my frienster lorr ???or u add me in msn..i lazy to add leh!!take care

♥ HuiMinDec 15 2007, 09:43 AM misses too!!tc ^^

♥ HuiMinMay 27 2009, 07:59 PM i lost my ph againcontact me at 82783226 k??

2010-04-14T22:22:00.008+08:00

See you soon again, Darling!

Frog porridge

Kobayashi

'How to train your dragon' was superb! I want to own a dragon too! ^.^

Black pepper beef pasta. Oh my god, I love it!!!

Lost in blogging. For the first time. Don't know what to type.
Guess whatever I wanted to say, I'd typed on my facebook status.
Anyway, right now I thought of things to talk about!
Which is I fucking screwed up my english test as I was last minute informed and I was sleepy. Damn.

Forget it, let's wait for the stupid result! I dislike it when I don't give in my best. It really sucks.

PLEASE, don't let me lose hope. I believe Grandma will recover very very very soon, alright?

If not, fucking kill me. I mean it.

2010-03-28T14:27:00.019+08:00

22 March, Picnic with the women! My beloved Mother and Sister!!

My beloved sister :)

After picnic, followed by a long walk to the arcade, about half hr - one hr walk?
*WOW AT THE DISTANCE*

After DDR, shot gun and I-forgotten-what-games we played? No more? Forgotten.

Whatever it is, we ate at Hongkong's cafe! I like the Squid and the Thick toast!:) *saliver dripping*

23 March, Pizza hut's food. With Sister!
Lazy to upload the pictures of Pizza hut's food. It's not nice taken anyway. Too busy eating!
Just post the photo of my favourite ice-cream but I'm sick of it already.

24 March, cleared dentention after school and Bedok corner's Nasi penyet. With Yaling!

Bought 'Chengteng' and 'Donuts' home that day. Full to the core! Ate 'Durian puff' too. Hehehe.
Well, all day long my mind is all about food. HAHAHAHA. I'm loving it! ~.~

March 27, Karaoke session with Darling!
Pathetic size room and seats for the karaoke session with Darling.

Waiting for the food to be serve after eating Mac'Donalds not long ago!

Newyork newyork's spaghetti. Not bad!

28 March, Picnic with classmates, Shiela, Yaling and Weikiat!

Prepared by Yaling...

Prepared by Shiela..

There were many more food but didn't take photos of it.
Anyway, the weather was hot till the grapes became hot! Well..

1 April, random photos taken in school.

2 April, Shop and eat with Darling.

Eat, Eat and Eat! I'm loving it!

The food I recently ate, sorry if I make you all drool. I'm missing it.

For me, this fried rice is not bad!

Nice, but too less cheese and mayonise.

First bite, nice, few more bites.. still nice, but eat too much of it will feel sick of it. Nice afterall (Y)

Dumpling at century square is always delicious :)

Eat a lot of times, but it's still delicious.

Kind of sick of the chicken rice, first time ate in school $5 chicken rice! HAHAHA.

Used to like hokkien mee, not sure is it because I bought at other place, it isn't really nice. Salty.

Kind of sick of Oreo misu too, but it is still nice. I like the cheese!!

Am so going to try Dian tai feng's xiao long bao, this one is not nice!

The end.

2010-03-24T19:42:00.007+08:00

19 March 2010 was picnic with primary school friends.
22 March 2010 was picnic with family.
28 March 2010 will be picnic with secondary school friends. Can't wait!
Pictures of 22 March and coming 28 March will be posted on the next post.

ALL ABOUT FOOD AND DRINKS!
I ate a lot a lot a lot for this week, growing fatter and adding more weight but I enjoy eating!!
For this week, I ate 'Nasi penyet x2, Mussels, Durian puff x2, Strawberry stick (?), Sushi, Thick toast with Condensed milk and butter, Spicy salt & pepper fried squid, Pizza hut' Criss cross fries, Garlic bread, Haiiwan pizza, Drumsticks, 1 scoop and a half scoop Ice-cream with Hot chocolate cake, Chengteng, Donut x2, Tea chino, Tea ice'.
To add on: I ate a lot in school too! Mixed rice + bbq bun + strawberry jam bread. Chicken rice + hotdog + nuggets + fish. Can't remember another day what I ate. In any way, it's just too -_-
Good appetite? Must be!!

Right now, I'm feeling really full!
Planned to eat 'Suan pan zi, Chicken balls, Coronet and Spaghetti' at Bugis.
But I was having diarrhea. It's alright, 3 - 5 months I'll be eating it!
P.S: I've enough of nasi penyet, mussel, sushi, pizza hut's food, donut, ice-cream with hot chocolate cake.

Dates will mostly be cancelled, since I don't have the mood to enjoy.

I'M GETTING FATTER, BY THE WAY. Hmm... HAHAHA.

2010-03-21T01:34:00.005+08:00

I've not seen Grandma for i-don't-know-how-many-days.
I'm so disappointed with the fact related to Grandma. God, please help me. If not, llik em. Thanks.

However, on the 19 March 2010, Friday. I had a great day with primary school friends.
Racy, Sixian, Shiela and Shuyuan was there.
Had picnic with Racy, Sixian, Shiela and Shuyuan. But the weather spoiled it half way through.
About half an hour, we head on to the arcade as it was raining.
Played some of the games but felt giddy. Still, I had fun. Coicidentally, saw Yaling there.
I treasured the moments with them, so much. Hope to have another outing with them soon.
Sixian and Shuyuan went home with me. Weikiat met me at my house down stair.
We played mahjiong!!! Sixian read book. Times flies when we were playing mahjiong.
Head on to Sharon's house for steamboat and it felt really nice, especially the chili.
Thanks to Sharon and Sharon's family. I miss Sharon's Dad fried rice!!
A really enjoyable day on the 19 March 2010, I'm grateful and happy. Though it was short.

Memorable.

2010-03-16T02:36:00.007+08:00

Finally tried some flavours of macarons! Such as 'Hazelnut, Chocolate and Caramel'! Love Sis!

Went to the new sentosa few days ago.

Tried Cookies and cream's cake on the same day, not bad!

Finally went out with Meiling! See you soon again! :)

2010-03-07T01:29:00.014+08:00

Met Merlene on the 7th of March, half year ago was the last time I met her. Time flies~
I think many other friends I've not seen them for 1 year or more than that. Hmm.
Went to Bugis and Tampines, the usuals. Very boring actually. Well, everywhere is boring.
Finally caught 'The Summer Days' and I ate a lot. Seriously, a lot. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Jiale, where's your determination? Hm, well, not totally about determination.
Just that I long time never go out with Darling what, just eat to the fullest lor!!
Ate what 'Suan pan zi (wtv the name is), Nugget, Seaweed chicken, Eggtart, Yogurt + Cookie and cream ice-cream, Salmon pepper rice'.
Though I ate much, thanks to Merlene's introduce, the 'Suan pan zi' and 'Eggtart' is bangus! Hao Chi! Delicious! 2 Thumps up!
Drank 3 sweet drinks (-__-) Such as 'Longan, Sugarcane and Ice peach tea'.
Wanted to eat 'Coronet, Chicken ball, Say cheese's food, Bakezin's cake, Newyork's food etc'.
HA, but how can my stomach fill it all? Hmmm. Need many $$$ too.
Hate don't have enough money and how I wish I won't grow fat from eating anything.
There's many things I want to grab my hands on too. Well..... Hope, soon.

See you soon again, Darling!!
For MJ, Karaoke and drinking!!!

P.S: I feel so weird that Darling and I are about the same height, or rather, she's taller than me!!! O:

8th of March went to visit Grandma after a long sleep till 4pm. SO HAPPY TO SEE GRANDMA :)
Ate steamboat's food once I woke up and headed on to AMK after Mum and I prepared.
Reached AMK, so happy to see Aunt June there and she bought durain puff. (Y)
Ate 3 of it, HAHAHAHAHA. I didn't fufill what I said. But its okay, cause I know what to do.
After eating 3 of it, I even ate popcorn and nuggets. Drank coke.
As I watched 'Alice In Wonderland' with Mum at AMK Hub. Fabulous show!
Cabbed home and here I am blogging in draft.

9th of March, Shiela accompanied me to AMK to visit my beloved Grandma, that was really nice of her! Much appreciated!

10th of March, was out in the afternoon to night. Was very tired! Late the next morning for school.

Do you find this posture familiar?

Random photos in school on the 11th of March

HAHAHAHA, this's our signature pose!

12th of March, dentention for late coming after school. Finally completed!
Ong Jiale, you should not be late again! You're such a sucker.

Ate so much food recently. Ate 'Suan pan zi' and 'Eggtart' after 4 days, which means today. Sick of it.

Just now Sis accompanied me to Parent teacher meeting session, after that we ate at Simpang Bedok, again. SUPER FULL!!

JIALAT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I don't really care.
This picture is randomly taken by Sis at the Parent teacher meet's room, she was testing my new phone's camera. It's $0! Woowoo~

2010-02-28T22:42:00.004+08:00

Ate at 'Pattaya Garden' with Mum and Sis in the afternoon.
And ate 'Beef Pepper Rice' not long ago.
I didn't intend to eat at night, here goes.. fats again.
Who cares, it's the last day of CNY!!!
Whatever it is, that dream was nice. It was really nice! Aww...
I was thinking of Grandma, yet I dreamed of somebody. Ha-ha!
Reality really sucks so much that I wish someone could just stab me in the back! Seriously.
Alright, 2 minutes more for typing... So what the dream was nice? It was still a dream~
No matter what, that somebody also can't compared to Grandma. Not now.

2010-02-27T23:04:00.010+08:00

So far, I remember..

15th February reunion dinner. But a pity, no family photo this year.

Watched '72 tenants of prosperity' with Mum and Sis at AMK HUB, followed by Grandma's house and Newyork Newyork.

Ate at Simpang with the girls, followed by Yaling's house with Marlissa and Putri.

JMS latest photo!!

Waiting for Bus to Simpang

The girls

Meehoon Goreng~ I miss another side' Meehoon Goreng

Yummy cheesefries!!

Yaling's beautiful house

Yaling's Grandma's room

Random photos during school's time.

Random photos after school, followed by meeting Lily with Shiela and Co for Katong laksa.

Out with Marlissa and Yaling and took neoprint.

Ate Dim Sum with Mum, Sis and Bro, followed by Grandma's house.

Ate steamboat at home with family but Dad wasn't home.

Ate at 85 with Sharon and Shiela.

Yesterday went out at night and met clique not including Jonathan, and it's no good to take photo at night, so we didn't took any photos.

But we had a great feast!!! :D Delicious, sedap, hao chi!

We ate 'Lala, BBQ Chicken wing, Fried oyster, Satay etc'.
We ate a lot a lot a lot, but I didn't felt full.

Which is weird, I even ate sweets and Ben & Jerry Strawberry cheesecake. For the first time.

It didn't felt really delicious compared to mine Strawberry cheesecake. Never mind, at least now I know how Ben & Jerry SCC taste like.

2010-02-26T20:42:00.001+08:00

Went out almost everyday nowadays.
Going to post the photos when I'm back!
Stay tuned!

2010-02-26T11:28:00.002+08:00

This cake looks yummy. But it's not in JPEG format, which sucks. So I can't use it for my coursework!):

2010-02-20T07:03:00.002+08:00

OH MY GOD! No wonder I feel headache.
First time, I actually slept from yesterday afternoon 5pm till today morning 7am.
Must be feeling too tired yesterday -__-" I did woke up at night but back to sleep, feeling so weak.
Never mind, going to eat Dim Sum and visit Grandma. Yahooooooooo :-)

2010-02-17T21:06:00.002+08:00

Actually late for school today, took my own sweet time.
Ate so much today, actually ate 3 meals, going to ate the third meal in a while.
First, mixed rice, followed by nasi ayam and later on, curry chicken noodle. WOW!
Long time never eat so much, tomorrow early morning need to go jog liao~ Long time didn't jog.
Hope jogging helps, and the bruise from last friday is still not recovering. Darn.
Now, I'm eating banana and it's not nice at all.
Luckily tomorrow and friday there's no math period, but there's coursework.
Am going to complete science homework after I finish eating and watching shows.
And its so funny that Shiela, Mum and Sis thought of the same thing I was thinking today.

2010-02-15T14:00:00.003+08:00

fRied food!

Not sure if 'Coronet' is counted as one of them.
I can't eat too much of fried food cause of a small lump in me.
Yet I just ate Cheese fries a few days ago, not sure if 'Roti prata' is considered one.
Ate Nuggets, not sure 'Popcorn' is considered one. Also, Newyork's fried food.

Guess I'll be eating fried food too, in today reunion dinner.

Yummy yet doesn't do me any good.

Anyway, I just realised I dreamed of many people! Like Sharon, Lily and Suyin. My relatives.
Many others, ha ha ha. But forgotten who are they.

2010-02-14T00:15:00.014+08:00

Its difficult to have self-control when its chinese new year eve and when go out with my friends.
Especially when I don't have reunion dinner at home.
Not even sure if there will be a gathering with my relatives for this year.
Just ate at Simpang Bedok roughly one hour ago. So full!
Friday we ate random food at bugis junction and ate at Century square's food court. The usuals.
Just bought 1 slipper, no clothes really caught my eyes.
He-he, yesterday took neoprints with friends, long time never took!! I like.
I saw Ben Yeo at Tampines 1 and Michelle Chong at Century Square.
Anyway, I miss you Sharon!!!

Trying fake eyelash out, long time never used

Ha-ha-ha! I don't know what I'm posing -__-"

Last week's photos

Post again when I've things to post about or when I'm free to =)

2010-02-11T23:00:00.006+08:00

Unlucky!!
I injured myself 2 times today.
First, by my precious bicycle.
Second, by the heavy ball we won 1st place today. Worth the while?
Woowoo~
My group actually got 1st place for all the 3 games. Left 1 more game, we'll try our best.
I actually joined cross country's run this year. Anything la!
More and more scars left at both of my leg, Cool? So uncool!!!

No self-control!!!
I actually ate Mac'Donalds just half an hour ago. First time drank few mouth of cokes only.
Ate Mc'Spicy and Twisted fries, nice huh -_-" Fats, unhealthy, rubbish.
Fats, still can reduce. Unhealthy quite hard cause all the extra rubbish is inside my stomach.
Going to practice self-control by tomorrow. Ha-ha-ha.
\I love Grandma, you're so sweet (:

P.S: My english sucks so much, hate it...

2010-02-11T01:33:00.004+08:00

Now, we've practises for CPA before the start of preparatory work but I still think I don't know anything about preparatory work -__-

Same for EBS, but.. we had only 1 practise for EBS.

EBS practise and preparatory work seems different, for me, not sure about others in the EBS group.

Well, I hope I can at least get a B though I not really sure if I found the right information for EBS.

As for CPA, I think I haven't really started, which sucks.

2 more days of school, stress will be over. And the stress will be back in 17 february!!

Why the breaks for CNY just 2 days? Not counting weekends.

Aww... Jiale, you sucks.

Hope Grandma is fine with Sre taking care of her. As my relatives is out to malaysia.

Sre is the maid. Grandma is only left with Sre. Hope Grandma is fine.. I miss her!!
Hope to see her by tomorow!!! Love you so much Grandma. God bless.

2010-02-08T21:24:00.007+08:00

Just reached home from work about half an hour ago.
Feels like continue working after chinese new year so that money keeps rolling in! Woowoo~

Let me recollect of the food I'd been eating for the past 38 days...
Though I didn't want to add on fats but I still add on and then minus and add on and now it became near to my target weight.
So happy though I eat a lot for the past few days but my weight didn't went up instead it went down. Which's weird.
He-he, finally ate all my favourite food within 38 days and sang K with my beloved family.
Using my hard-earned money for Sakae teppanyaki only, Mum treated us to Karaoke and Katong Laksa!
Cookie and cream' ice-cream!
Sakae teppanyaki!
Pasa malam' food!
Soya milk with pearl and chocolate pancake!
Katong Laksa and otah!
Milk tea with pearl! (A shop sells it damn nice)
Strawberry cheese cake!
New york' food! (Finally try it)
Duck rice!

That's all the food I remember for now.

Omg, Ong Jiale, you must control your diet now before you get back to your past weight!
That'll be a waste of Mum's money for the herbalife product.
(A herbalife product can help people who wants to add on weight but always can't no matter how much he/she eat.)
In simple, Herbalife is a premier nutrition and weight management product.
OH I LOVE HERBALIFE!

2010-02-03T23:35:00.003+08:00

Started work late today..
Board the bus around 5pm plus and reached Choa Chu Kang around 7pm plus. Fucking traffic jam -.-
Board the bus around 9pm plus and reached around 11pm.
The ride back home was so much faster. Went to buy Night market' food for Sis since it's on the way.
Ate Mee Pattaya, some Cheese Fries and tried Prata Bomb in the afternoon today.
I thought it's prata coin.. But since Suyin and Kester said is prata bomb then so be it.
I want to eat prata soon!! =P Maybe going to try Crispy Noodle too.
I'm so going to eat Night'market (not-so-heaty) food if next week still got sell. So is the dessert!
Can't wait for Karaoke sessions and Pattaya Garden's food.
YES! Not working tomorrow, so... I'll be visiting beloved Grandma tomorrow. See you ahma!
Love love love you! ;)

I want one or two or three more shopping session soon! Oh my god! :O

2010-01-30T22:08:00.005+08:00

Why is there humans and earth???
Nobody knows why.

LIFE is too much like a dream and I feel so untrue about it.
The first time in my life, I feel that humans sitting and walking around is just like ROBOTS.
Nonsense thoughts but it's really weird.

I was thinking if something that had happened which obviously cannot be change.
I was thinking all the IF(s). Like what if it didn't happen this way, but the other way round.
How will everything be like.....

Mum replied to my thoughts:
Why not you just say 'What if there is no humans on this earth'.
Ye, majority of us might think about this question but of course, never get an answer.
I told Mum:
Maybe there were no humans and earth to start with.
Experienced: the hard times, the good times. (suan tian ku la - sour sweet bitter hot)
Well... Now, I'm experiencing my young life, studying.
Followed by young adult which is working life?
Middle aged, retirement? And have a own family or maybe not.
Old, waiting to lie in the coffin.
It just totally feels like a dream, don't you think?
Once I step into the coffin, the dream will eventually end.
Even now, I can feel the keyboard, touch my own face, it feels like it's a short moment.

HA, I'm thinking too much. Nature take it own course la, Jiale.
Wanted go eat something good and work but end up visiting Grandma, which is also good!
GRANDMA, JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!
I love you super much.

2010-01-29T23:02:00.004+08:00

EBS preparatory work was just 1 practise.
CPA preparatory work was just 2 - 4 practise.

TOO LESS PRACTISES.
No choice. Just hope everyone can do well for EBS and CPA.
Good luck to all!

Finally, today got the time to visit Grandma as I skipped work today.
4 days didn't visit Grandma, feel like weeks. Grandma thought the same way too =)
Spent the time with her 5 hours today, so rare and I like.
From next week onwards, will be full of supplementary class and coursework I supposed.
Schedule will be so pack for the first time in my life, I guess.

Trying to love 2010, though many unpleasant things happened to me.
I believe tomorrow will be better! =D

Few days ago ate Night market' food, just ate few minutes ago and I'm SO SICK OF IT.
In one week, I ate twice and I'm so damn sick of it already.
Unlike in the past, I used to eat so much and didn't feel sick of it. Which's weird.

OH, somebody said I'm weird just by my face, appearance and JUST.. everything.
SO FUNNY, first time people said I am WEIRD. Which makes me burst out laughing like shit.
He's weird to say I'm weird. I'm just normal, like everyone. Or am I not? O:

WOOWOO~ Hiakhiakhiak ;) Can't wait for Shopping and Kobayashi on the 31st!

2010-01-27T04:26:00.002+08:00

Unexpected & vulnerable. SUCKS!! This's life. What can we do?

Enjoy to the fullest. Cherish whoever is important to you.

I guess I'm too cope up with stuffs or my brain are either thinking of schoolwork, lump, working and it really left my brain without a word or a image of Grandma for 2 days.

For the past week, I visited Grandma everyday or 6 days out of 1 week.

Now, only few minutes thinking of her, & continue busy with my stuffs.

I should be sleeping few hours ago but I've left my brain awake and ending up thinking of Grandma.

Thinking of the past she used to walk with her walking stick, pushing her to the market, seeing her eating with pleasure, talking to her friends with laughter.

WHY must it be like this now. WHY! WHY! WHY!

FUCKING HELL! Who can I blame? What to blame? Why should I blame?

Sigh........... Fucking Life.

2010-01-25T01:05:00.003+08:00

Reminder to self:
28 january - cpa coursework
29 january - 19 february - ebs coursework (internet research) TASK A preparatory work
26 february - 9 april - ebs coursework (non-internet research) TASK A assessed work
16 april - 7 may - ebs coursework (internet research) TASK B preparatory work
2 july - 6 august - ebs coursework (non-internet research) TASK B assessed work
4 - 12 october main examination period

EBS: Coursework (40%) and Theory (60%)

2010-01-21T22:22:00.003+08:00

I'm very very very disappointed in you.
Utter disappointed in you.
Frankly speaking, this feels like a dream. For the sudden change in you.
The word 'sudden' strike me hard in the head. I feel my brain bursting, I felt vexed.
Now, I decide I shall heck care and I shall try to do it.
I think I'm one step to success. Though I still have that 60% suspecting you.
You don't love yourself. That's the fact. Its the fact that what you told me, its still a fact.
It feels like you're trying to prove something. As for me, I think you should live for yourself, not anybody.
You claimed you plainly want try which I believe is purely, I don't accept that.
I believe there is a reason behind it, though I was worried, I don't feel like giving a damn anymore.
Think of the positive way, at least there won't be more problems adding to my problems.
Tell you what, you feel like trying that, its silly and stupid to the core.
I feel like I don't understand you at all.
I don't know why I've this thought that it felt super like a dream.
I don't know why I've this thought that I can't talk to you like normal anymore.
Nor do I feel like seeing you cause I'll have that 2nd bad impression of you again.
Like you've gone insane or gone haywire.
You know who you're.
All I can say is this much, you promised, but promises can be broken.
Even if you make commitment, you might not fulfill it.
I hope you love yourself, if you do behind my back, I'll know.

2010-01-17T00:07:00.003+08:00

Looking back at the photos, I really miss the times when Grandma can walked by herself.

Going out with her to market, seeing her buy things, eating with her, pushing her around.

Feels really fucking sad and tears is dripping in my heart.

NOW, EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT.

What can I do to exchange this?
How I miss the times... )': FUCK IT BIG TIME!!!

2010-01-16T10:21:00.003+08:00

I actually slept at living room yesterday while watching some drama until the tv was on till today 7am in the morning.
Wtf, a waste of electricity.
!!!

2010-01-10T23:02:00.006+08:00

I'm loving it~ I got the most comments compared to the whole class.
People wrote some thing like "WOW, YOU SO GOOD.", "Now, I hope I can be there.", "It's great you can contact with your distant relative.", "I want to go there sometime as I only went Malacca before.", "I want to go there, it looks like a palace."
Appreciated, classmates!!! (:
For your information, this picture and writing is talking about Hainan.
My beloved Grandpa and Grandma's hometown.

For a few seconds today, I was soft-hearted.
I MUST BE DETERMINE, I MUST BE!!!
You can do it, Ong Jiale!!!!!!!!!

Alright, get to the point.
I'm such a loser in managing time.
I want to plan a timetable for myself but it's hard.

-

-

P.S: RANDOM PICTURES

2010-01-09T16:06:00.005+08:00

Now. Whatever I type below, I'm serious. Won't back out no matter what.

Unless things got really a big change. Which I believe a WON'T.

The truth is, I'm soft-hearted. Those who knows me well know I'm soft-hearted.
But I swear towards a thing, I won't be soft-hearted anymore. Which is repay.

I won't repay to Dad a single cent. The most I'll do is to repay Mum.

In the first place, Dad shouldn't played cheat, shouldn't want one more child which is me.

Mum didn't expect to be pregnant and give birth to me.
I was born because Dad played cheat, he doesn't even help to pay money for this family.

All he earned, just for his own, his own, his own. Gamble, maybe? And what else more.

Drink beer and what else more. Fucking idiot.

I once thought of when I start to work, how should I repay Dad when he sometimes give me pocket money for recess and that's just the money he give me. No else more.
Can you believe that? CAN YOU?

He owes Mum too much. Especially he just pay like 1/4 of the house bills.

HE NEVER GIVE MUM MONEY FOR GROCERIES, HOUSE BILLS, OR ANYTHING.

He suggested to give birth to me, he played cheat, yet he wasn't responsible towards it.
I didn't want to remember hatred at all, not at all.

But this kind of Dad, how can I don't remember hatred? How can I?
I even thought of repaying him, wtf. Why should I even?
I only need to repay Mum because she is responsible towards me, my sis and my bro.

Every single thing she pay, EVERY SINGLE THING.

She is like my Mum and my Dad. She plays two roles.

I don't even need a Dad who don't remember our birthday, don't care of my birthday, don't bother to buy a birthday cake, when I'd a school trip to Malacca for 3 days he didn't give me money, when I was a baby don't even bother to buy diaper etc whatever the baby needs, (every single thing Mum buy with her own hard earned money), many else more... which will be never finishing by his selfish-ness. I FUCKING CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

ALL SINGLE THING MUM FORK OUT, MUM WORKED LIKE HELL.
Which I'll note it down, forever, till the day I lie in my coffin.

I won't change this thinking for not repaying cause so you know I must change to be hard.
I shan't be soft anymore. He push me that hard. He knows it.

He knows how much I sent messages to him to tell him how much I owe my friends money because he refused to give me money to pay the school things, top up money, whatever money.

Some things I used my own money, till left nearly $0, but know what?
Mum gave me the money again. Mum is the best. OF COURSE.

And also, guess what, the second person I should repay is Sis, my blood Sis.
Not the Dad which most people will be repaying or love.

SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED, SAD AND UNHAPPY. MANY MORE indescribable FEELINGS.

Now am only wanting to faster finish this grudges post.
Teared for why I've this kind of Dad.

Whom came to me laughing the repeating messages I sent asking him for money and he said that he will off his phone to avoid my messages. COOL thing he did.

__

I remembered asking him to drive me to the hospital Grandma was in, in 2008 after I came back from Malacca, he denied, he left me in the van, I was crying, he even laughed.

THE MOST FUCKED UP THING IS THAT HE WANT ONE MORE CHILD AFTER MY SISTER, WHICH IS ME YET HE DON'T REMEMBER OUR BIRTHDAYS. WHAT IS THIS?!?!

Why did I wished him 'happy birthday' when I was in China. !!!

That is not right of me to do that. I shouldn't be so nice, I shouldn't do that.
He was happy in the phone hearing I wished him, you know.
I even thought of asking my blood sis to buy him a cake from my savings.

I swear I won't wish him or care his birthday ever again.

Other things, I'll note it down and remember in my heart, forever.

Thank you Mum and suck you Dad.

I LAZY TO LINE THIS POST PROPERLY, I SHALL END LIKE THIS.
Going off to visit Grandma. Bye everyone! I'm a remember hatred people if you push me way too far.

P.S: I know my english sucks at most point of the time but I don't bother to correct liao la. Too fucked up.

2010-01-07T22:08:00.005+08:00

Fireworks belongs to Hainan's island, I still miss there so freaking much.

How I envy this 2 girls' Grandma still can walk. Hai, ren bi ren qi si ren.

I never ever in my life walk with Grandma like the 2 girls above. I wish to do that 1 fine day.

SO SUPER SLEEPY RIGHT NOW. But, things is still undone, so that means I can't sleep yet.

WORTH IT, WORTH IT, SUPER WORTH IT.

Bedok to Ang mo kio everyday. Around a week $10 ezlink will be finished. I've a selfish Dad.

So.. I really don't know how to get from him top up money for ezlink when I think he won't give.
DAMN IT. Why I've this Dad and that friend? All selfish, petty, no brain and ridiculous.
I don't say people like that. I really don't. But because this 2 have gone way too much.

Its alright, I shall be tolerance.

Ok. Anyway, this's shocking and sad. Sis is sick. I hope she gets well soon!! She keep vomit.

Suddenly, I feel that I got to buck up on my thoughts and don't let anything affects me.

If not, how do I pay attention in lessons? That's so not good.

Alright, hope tomorrow school ends at 12.15pm if really got to end later, please, not too late.
I got to go Ang mo kio and visit Grandma before I go bugis at 7pm for some healthy talks.

Nobody understand. Only my family. So no point explaining about healthy talks.

I need around 3 hour ++ in walking, waiting for bus and bus ride. 1 - 2 hour with Grandma.

Shit it, I guess 5pm I got to start taking bus if not dang, late for the talks.
Aww..... So less hours with Grandma. Vexed about top up money from Dad. Damn.
PLUS THE FUCKING $3 for individual photo, why so fast take!!! I use my money till no money liao can.

The selfish dad of mine also don't want return me my pathetic $3! Expect me to pay on my own for so many things.

What a dad. Very nice of you. Thank you.

2010-01-04T23:19:00.004+08:00

LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING GRANDMA EVERYDAY.
I MEAN EVERY SINGLE DAY.
EVEN IF EXPECTATION, MAYBE I ALSO CAN'T BEAR TO STAY HOME AND GO VISIT BELOVED GRANDMA FOR A GOOD FEW HOURS.
Cool or not, Bedok to Ang Mo Kio. (Y)
Good or not, Ang Mo Kio to Bedok.
2 hours ++ ride plus all the walking.
Why didn't Grandpa buy a house near my house last time?!
Fated.

School officially reopen today. =)
Main target: Do well for N'level. Especially Math. Jiayou :D
Today was a fruitful day. Went to school in the morning, afternoon went home, followed by Grandma's house, night met Sixian for study session, no, tutor session instead.
She taught me math, thanks a lot. Appreciated that you forked out the time.
;)

1 hour ++ in bus from my house to Grandma's house and from Grandma's house to my house was so... a long ride. Nearly missed my stop, slept in the bus -__-"
Even though the fucking toilet queue today is very ridiculously long, waited for 10 -15 minutes when my bladder couldn't take it anymore.
Luckily still can hold on. If not dang, ha ha ha, urine on floor. NO LA, still can control I guess.
I just feel like saying, not complaining. For Grandma, just doing little things for her like:
Brushing her fake teeth for her (was scared to touch it last time), feeding her congee (she can feed herself, but not easy to, as the congee will drop on her shirt and know what, ants will come), helping her massage and so on.
Sigh. When old.. Every illness love to come. Unless you're really lucky.
So ya, like what Aunt June said, should book a old folks home for ourselves in the later future.
THINK TOO FAR. Ha-ha. Well, frankly speaking, I don't like when I old to be in a old folks home.
But even if, how, face the fact lor. If not just die there lor. See how my future childrens treat me la! LOL!
I love Grandma so much so much so much. Its worth to visit her everyday if I've the time.
Maybe an expectation for saturday. I want to freaking rest on a saturday at home.
For dramas or whatever. That'll be really nice.
*

I love to study. Hope it'll last. For 2 hours. Not bad, I think.
D.E.T.E.R.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N
:)

2010-01-03T22:24:00.009+08:00

Mum cooked congee today ;) Yummy.
- With prawn, meat, carrot, century egg and apparently, youtiao.
It's weird I'm starting to love century egg when I hate eating it last time.
I always like youtiao, especially just congee with one whole piece youtiao.
YUMMY YUMMY~

MY MATH SUCKS BIG TIME!
SOMEONE HELP ME!
DESPERATELY!
Too bad, it's too late. Not late if I can bring myself out and if anyone can help me is at home.
Didn't go expo and tampines. And yet I also can't make time for study in the afternoon.
Initially, Sixian was free, but she had tuition. Others not free. Aww.............................................................................................................................
Anyway, I didn't realised the time is 10.27pm now. I guess I'll be sleeping at 12am or earlier.
I'm actually very tired now, tomorrow there is school for the first day in 2010.
2010, WOW.
I guess I'll be writing mistake for worksheets for the year. Confirm write 2008.
Oh if you realise, I was on purpose, I mean 2009.
Now I'm going to like trying to work out on my maths, which my brain isn't really working.
MOREOVER, I'm a fucking dumb in math. How? Guess I won't complete the math worksheet. Confirm.
Never mind, shall seek help from teachers tomorrow or any day.

Thinking if I should go school with Shiela and Zulaika or Sharon.
Guess I would like to choose to be on my own with my own bicycle.
SO... after school go home and the usual, off to Ang Mo Kio to visit my lovely Grandma.
See you humans tomorrow!

P.S: GUESS WHAT! Today is the freaking first time I ate 'Angmoh durian'. It's sour yet quite nice. Hmm, don't like to eat too much too. Very sick. Just eat 1 small piece will be enough. (Y)